At my house, my husband is the fun guy – the dad who lets the kids climb trees, take risks and get a little wild. I’m the nurturer, I’d like to think, but I know my son thinks I’m a little uptight compared to his dad. I like schedules and routine so my husband’s creativity and penchant for risk-taking can sometimes clash with my desire for order and discipline.

Since we’re so different when it comes to child-rearing, we sometimes don’t present a united front to our children. It’s not a huge problem, but it’s something we’re becoming more aware of.

“When the parental unit in a household is weakened due to conflict, it can have a major impact on the children’s sense of confidence and safety,” psychologist Michelle Borba told the Associated Press in a recent story, “What Happens When Parents Clash Over the Kids?” “One minute parents are letting kids have free reign, and the next they are cracking down and afraid to let go. Not only are the mixed signals confusing and frustrating for kids, when the problems end up resurfacing down the road, so do the arguments with your spouse.”

The article noted how parents are feeling more stress than ever, which can exacerbate their differences and lead to conflict. Over time, the friction can take its toll, according to Borba.

Your kids will lose confidence — in you: Conflict leads to loss of confidence and feelings of safety in children, making it more difficult to discipline them but also “harder for parents to soothe a child who is upset or worried,” she says.

Feelings of powerlessness: Parents who feel unsupported by a spouse experience a dramatic drop in the ability to solve problems, search for solutions and communicate effectively — in parenting and in their marriages, Borba says.

Harmful alliances between parent and child: Taking a child’s “side” when two spouses disagree instead of presenting a united front is a protective instinct, she says. “Don’t do it. Doing so not only undermines the authority of the `opposing’ parent, it sets up a dynamic that encourages kids to play you and your spouse against one another in the future.”

Do you and your spouse or partner have similar or different parenting styles? What do you do in order to function as a team?