I used to dread going to restaurants with my children. They could never sit still, even if I brought books and toys or paper and crayons. After five minutes, they would want to walk around or stand in the booth and bother the nearby diners. Inevitably, in the middle of a meal, one of them always had to go to the bathroom.
Now that they’re a little older, dining out is no longer quite as stressful as it used to be, but it’s still not easy for them to get through an entire meal without annoying others or making a huge mess. (That’s one of the reasons why I believe in generous tips.)
With Thanksgiving just a week away, I wonder if other families worry about their children’s behavior at the dinner table. A recent Washington Post article, “Mind Your Manners, Please,” emphasized the need for parents to teach etiquette to their kids. But does it work even with young children, especially when some holiday dinners last for more than hour?
In order to figure out how long your child can sit at the dinner table, multiply the child’s age by three, Jennifer Ricciardi, director of the Lifestyle Finishing School, told the Washington Post.
So my 6-year-old might last for about 18 minutes and my 3-year-old for half that time.
What do you do at your house to teach your kids proper etiquette? How do you encourage them to sit still and behave when sitting at the dinner table?
elehill on November 23 at 9:28 a.m.
Remember the “childrens table”? They could wiggle, giggle, get up and down, etc all they wanted. Sitting with the adults for dessert after Holiday dinners was a priviledge that had to be earned. Sitting there through a whole meal only came with proven behavior. Try it!
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Terri Echegoyen on November 23 at 1:52 p.m.
Teaching children (at an age appropriate level) how to behave at the dinner table is an important aspect of our children's growth and development. The proper use of fork, knife and napkin are integral to maintaining civility at the dinner table. Unfortunately, our fast paced dine-out society has led to an inability to use common flatware. On at least two separate occasions, my daughter's have had guests over for sleep overs which inevitably leads to the partaking of a meal. My husband and I have been mortified as we watch these young ladies fumble and struggle with flatware. What a disservice we are doing by not teaching our children how to behave at the dinner table. Indeed, we use manners not only out of respect for those around us but also out of respect for ouselves. The development of a sense of dignity at the dinner table is a noble learning experience and one worth teaching!
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Michael_Alegria on November 23 at 2:00 p.m.
It was always so gratifying when my husband and I would receive compliments from strangers at restaurants and at church regarding our well-behaved children. Although we never really formed a formal strategy, we have always communicated on an eye-to-eye level with our children and so before we would enter a restaurant or church or someone's home, we would sit quietly in the car for a moment or two and say, “We expect good behavior while we are here.” We would then explain to them what to expect, i.e., “There will mostly be grownups here,” or “You will have your own children's table to sit at.” I think chldren need to know what is expected of them. We also rewarded them with praise when we would catch them doing something good. “I really like the way you are waiting nicely for your meal,” or “It is so pretty how you folded your napkin.” Giving them positive attention keeps them focused on doing more good things to continue to receive it. Now that my children are teenagers, they are still extremely well behaved and nice people that can carry on conversations with adults and children alike and are genuinely wonderful to have around.
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