A) You should be able it suck it through a straw without straining. B) You should be able to suck it through a straw, but it should require a little effort. C) It should be so thick that even the Suction Goat at Riverfront Park couldn't drink it with a straw. D) Forget the straw. You'll need a chisel. E) Borderline runny. F) You should black out from your futile attempt to inhale it. G) It should invite at least one Jethro Tull reference. H) It should be a neck exercise more violent than hardcore bridging. I) Other.