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The Slice

When does fall really start around here?

A) When the raccoons wave goodbye to the last family closing up a lake place for the season. B) Tuesday and the first grade-schooler “stomachache.” C) When at least a few of the people wearing sweaters aren't complaining about being too warm. D) When the Halloween stuff goes on sale for 2012. E) When the Spokane County Interstellar Fair is over. F) Autumnal equinox. F) When end-of-the-world snow tire commercials start appearing. G) When the first person ignores the city's annual request that homeowners not rake leaves into the street. H) When the first co-worker of several guys obsessed with their NFL fantasy league teams rolls her eyes, sighs and mutters “Oh, for the love of…”  I) When a Spokane TV news anchor first trots out that tired old suggestion that the only reasonable way to view the approach of winter is to be an annoying crybaby.  J) Skiers start to get on your nerves. K) When you have your first flu-shot conversation with someone who spends a lot of time on web sites catering to paranoid morons. L) The first time you think about maybe wearing gloves. M) When we reset the clocks. N) When there's a Slice item about the American arrogance of calling the World Series “the World Series.” O) When you start dreading Thanksgiving. P) When a few movies for adults start showing up. Q) The first debate about celebrating Columbus Day. R) When the first transplanted foliage snob pipes up. S) When seasonal beers that look and taste like something drained from a crankcase start showing up. T) With the arrival of the big Jewish holidays. U) Someone proclaims the WSU or UW  football season “a rebuilding year.” V) Your dog stops shedding. W) Stacks of firewood start appearing. X) When the first Spokane teenager wears shorts on a cold day. Y) When someone critiques the way you eat a caramel apple. Z) Other. 

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About this blog

Features writer Paul Turner is a columnist for The Spokesman-Review in the Features department. He writes "The Slice" column, which appears six times a week and produces general features stories for the Today section.

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