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TUESDAY, MARCH 13, 2012, 2:51 P.M.

One of drunken driving’s lesser tolls

Compared to the serious mayhem caused by inebriated motorists, lawn damage is nothing.

But at this exact time of year, when the turf is mushy and vulnerable, drunks who veer onto lawns while trying to navigate their way home really make a mess.

Of course, there's no proof that these tire-caused gouges in moisture-softened yards are alcohol-related. Maybe the person responsible simply cannot drive and that's why he or she took a corner way too sharp and created a divot the size of a kayak. Or simply over-corrected up onto the grass on a straight stretch.

But the fact that many of these yard incursions seem to happen in the middle of the night does raise suspicions.

If you do any early morning walking, you might have seen one or two of these ripped-up swaths. 

We like to joke in Spokane about yelling "Hey, get off my lawn!"

But some late-night drivers deserve to hear that. And to be in jail.

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The online home for Paul Turner's musings and interactions with disciples of The Slice.