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The Slice

Fri., May 11, 2012, 4 p.m.

How to lose customers the easy way

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Spokane Business Owner,

Want to get rid of customers fast and forever? It's simple, really.

Just have a van or truck prominently adorned with the name of your establishment and hire a driver who is an utter ass out on the road.

Works every time.

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The online home for Paul Turner's musings and interactions with disciples of The Slice.