It was pointed out to me that elsewhere on www.spokesman.com a commenter suggested I might have taken acid in the 1970s.
As it happens, I did not. Never even tempted.
But I knew someone who did.
Once, while under the influence of LSD, he found himself in the home of a friend. That friend's mother was there.
The guy I knew was sitting in a chair. But he believed he was somehow at the bottom of a pendulum swinging slowly back and forth.
In reality, a pendulum will usually cover less and less distance as time passes. But he believed it was swinging farther and farther out.
So he finally feared that he was going to crash into the other side of the room, where his friend's mother was seated.
He had no choice but to holler a panicky warning — “Heeeerrrrrrre I commmmmme!”
Brace for impact.
Don't take drugs, kids.