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Kids faking illness so they can stay home

What are the magic phrases?

I assume "stomach ache" doesn't work any more. So what do little kids who don't want to go to school say in 2012? How do they manipulate modern parents?

"I'm having chest pains"?

"My white cell count is probably off the chart"?

"It could be that 24 hour lupus that's going around"?

"You might have to intubate"?

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The Slice

The online home for Paul Turner's musings and interactions with disciples of The Slice.