1. They all look and dress like this.
2. They spend their work days reading.
3. They have a trove of facts memorized. (Some do know a lot. But their real mission is to help you connect with information that could change your life for the better.)
4. The way people become librarians is to simply start referring to themselves as such. (What? You mean those who bothered to obtain master's degrees in the field needn't have gone to the trouble?)
5. Male librarians are required to have beards. (Actually it's optional.)
6. They were attracted to the work by the prospect of policing people watching porn and dealing with kids dropped off by parents who regard libraries as free day-care facilities.