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A most unlikely newspaper promo

If you look carefully at the front page of the paper Morticia is reading, you will see a line of top-of-the-page promos.

"Complete N. Y. Stocks  Comics Section  Feature Writers"

Feature writers? I have been looking at newspapers for a long time, and I don't recall ever seeing a real one use that as a page-one come-on. I just can't imagine that conversation taking place on the night news desk.

"What do you want to promo across the top of A1?"

"Do we still have any feature writers?"

"Yeah. I think so. I never see them."

"Well, tout that."

"Consider it done."

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The online home for Paul Turner's musings and interactions with disciples of The Slice.