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I scream, you scream, we all scream

Here are some theories about why my idea for Grizzly Beary ice cream has gone nowhere.

1. The commercial cultivation of huckleberries is an issue.

2. Other than sending a brief proposal to Ben & Jerry's more than 20 years ago and mentioning the flavor name every few years in my column, I haven't actually done anything to promote the idea.

(A woman at B&J's in Vermont — this was back before the pioneering premium ice cream maker got swallowed up by some huge corporation — wrote me a nice “Go away” reply. She noted that she had looked up Spokane on a map and thought the location seemed pretty appealing.)

3. My stubborn insistence on pure cane sugar.

4. Potential tension with the U.A. Horribilis Brotherhood about use of the name “Grizzly.”

5. Other than saying the ingredients would include chocolate and huckleberries, I've never really spelled out precisely what would go in Grizzly Beary.

6. Grim certainty that seriously exploring this would quickly lead to conversations with frowning people saying “That's your business plan?” and “This doesn't pencil out.”

7. My Ralph Kramdenesque entrepreneurial savvy.

8. Wishing doesn't make it so.

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About this blog

Features writer Paul Turner is a columnist for The Spokesman-Review in the Features department. He writes "The Slice" column, which appears six times a week and produces general features stories for the Today section.

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