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The Slice

Planning your Sunday

If you don't care about football or TV commercials for pickups, beer and erectile aids, late tomorrow afternoon might be a great time to make your grocery run for the week.

Chances are, you will have plenty of elbow room in the store.

And when the cashier asks why you are not home watching the game, you can say…

A) “I wasn't aware that it was mandatory.” B) “I am a Communist.” C) “What game?” D) “Are you aware that the National Football League is a BS-spewing for-profit business that has convinced dupes like you that it is actually an important social movement?” E) “I've never rooted for Seattle teams. That just doesn't make sense to me. Ever heard the way people in Seattle talk about Spokane? But eventually I lost interest in even rooting against them.” F) “I try to avoid most major opiates of the people.” G) “What?” H) “I prefer bread and circuses.” I) “Why would I care about that?” J) “Not really into being a spectator.” K) “There are couch dwelling people in my home chanting DEE-FENSE…DEE-FENSE… so I thought this would be a lovely time to do some errands.” L) Other. 

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About this blog

Features writer Paul Turner is a columnist for The Spokesman-Review in the Features department. He writes "The Slice" column, which appears six times a week and produces general features stories for the Today section.

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