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The Slice

Posts tagged: hot weather

Two advantages to not having AC

1) Lower energy costs.

2) You are less apt to obsess about people opening the front or back door 552 times a day and letting in baked air.

Somewhere in Spokane this afternoon…

…someone at a grocery store will buy ice cream on an impulse and then try to get home before it melts even though there is no ice chest or thermo-insulated bag in the car.

Personally, I think Jim Brown had a better chance in “The Dirty Dozen.”

When someone says “Stay cool”

How do you react?

A) I recognize that the speaker is simply making small talk. B) I ask for strategy suggestions. C) I say “That's what SHE said.” D) I say something equally original such as, “Yeah, you too.” E) I say “What's that got to do with defending liberty?” F) Other.

Cold showers: How low can you go?

Weather conditions being what they are, it's tempting to think a cold shower is a good idea.

But then you actually get under the water and something happens.

You remember why you have never done the Polar Bear Plunge over in Coeur d'Alene.

Oh, sure. A lot of us can take a cool shower. And that still feels great if you have been outside in blazing heat.

But a truly cold shower? That takes something special.

Remember when, during an extended citywide power outage years ago, Mayor Jack Geraghty referred to taking a “Viking shower”?

Well, I wonder how many Vikings walk among us this week.  

You might love hot weather if…

A) You are under the impression that the Spokane area has hard winters. B) You actually do jump in a lake. C) You have air-conditioning. D) You enjoy opportunities to walk around with not much on. E) You are solar powered. F) Lizards on rocks are your role models. G) You hear people say “Ya gotta love it” and assume that liking hot weather is obligatory here. H) You have never lived somewhere with truly punishing summers (that forever sapped your tolerance for hot weather). I) Other.

If A therefore B

We all know that many people in the Spokane area crave hot weather.

And those temperatures are said to be on their way.

So does it therefore follow that Spokane, not Disneyland, is about to be the happiest place on Earth?

People here are about to get what they say they want, after all. Shouldn't we expect them to be blissed out?

Or does this yearning for sizzling temps only apply if the person in question is engaged in water recreation?

Maybe it's not all that swell if you are taking part in those pursuits that do not involve swimming or boating.

“Woo-hoo! It's going to be 98 and I'm going to be stuck in traffic in a car that doesn't have AC on my way to a job at an office with stagnant air! Par-tay!”

Of course, many here have been brainwashed into believing that everyone spends virtually every summertime moment in the throes of lake-based frolic.

Pay no attention to those actual population/leisure activities statistics behind the curtain.

Looking ahead to the hot weather

Three questions come to mind.

1. What is your favorite hot-weather scene in a movie?

2. If you have a cat, how much can it stretch out to spill heat?

3. Ever assumed the lake water would have warmed up and then, only after jumping in, discovered that it was still pretty darned cold?

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About this blog

Features writer Paul Turner is a columnist for The Spokesman-Review in the Features department. He writes "The Slice" column, which appears six times a week and produces general features stories for the Today section.

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