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The Slice

Posts tagged: mosquitoes

Why do mosquitoes single you out?

www.evidencebasedliving.human.cornell.edu

A) They don't really. It just seems that way. B) Subtle variations in body chemistry. C) You are extra sweet and juicy. D) You have been drinking tranya. E) Your blood is high octane. F) To pay you back for all your insipid pronouncements about energy policy. “Hey, I gotcher 'Drill Baby, Drill' right here, pal.” G) Someone close to you revealed your whereabouts as part of a plea bargain. H) Rumors about your blood alcohol level. I) Other.  

Taunting defectors

Am I above reminding friends who moved away from Spokane that their new homes are far more buggy than the Inland Northwest?

I am not.

Just today, I ended a note to a guy now in Minnesota with “Watch out for mosquitoes.”

His reply: “Skeeters aren't out in force yet, but they seem to be taking up homesteads around my hammock area. Bastards.”

Oh, well. Birds like them as light snacks.

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Features writer Paul Turner is a columnist for The Spokesman-Review in the Features department. He writes "The Slice" column, which appears six times a week and produces general features stories for the Today section.

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