ADVERTISEMENT
Advertise Here

The Slice

Posts tagged: random questions

When do you stop being a “Californian”?

A) After you lived up here for 10 years. B) 20 years. C) 30 years. D) After you register to vote up here. E) I thought people here got over that sort of thinking back in the 1980s. F) Depends on what you paid for a house. G) When you are able to say to a high percentage of Spokane area residents who came here from other places, “Been here way longer than you, pal.” H) Other.

Here is your “Jeopardy”-esque answer:

“Memphis,” “Kansas City” and “El Paso.”

So what's the question?

It has nothing to do with barbecue.

Why do so many NFL linemen look fat?

A) Because they are.

B) In order to maintain the tremendous muscle mass in their butts and thighs, they need to consume an ungodly amount of calories. So while that often produces a flabby belly, it is all in the service of maintaining strength.

C) Snacking.

D) Sheer bulk that can move short distances at impressive speed is the name of the game.

E) They are not concerned about the appearance of their abs.

F) Other.

Multiple choice for men of a certain age

Do you ever adjust your belt in public?

A) Well, it has been a long time since I allowed the desire to be cool rule my life. But no, I am not that guy yet. B) Sometimes I do, if the appropriate belt notch for sitting in the driver's seat is one looser than the notch that's right for walking around. C) You would have to more precisely define “public.” It can be done in a quick, subtle way that does not attract attention. D) Look, certain pants and certain postures require that you occasionally change the belt setting on the go. You don't have to be some human land barge staggering away from the buffet. E) The setting that is comfortable for sitting at my desk isn't the same I require for being up and moving around. So, sometimes I have to if I want to keep my pants from sliding down my hips F) No. I am not Grampa McCoy. G) I wear suspenders. H) Other.

If you wore a body camera on the job…

…what would the recorded images show?

Does everyone in Spokane…

…who works at a good sized business have one co-worker who sounds like a Julia Sweeney character?

I'm not necessarily thinking of Pat.

It could be, for instance, the voice of the nutcake she played in “Frasier.” 

Are there those in the EWU community…

…who are not thrilled about Eastern's rise to prominence in FCS football?

Human nature vs. cherished sports myths

We all know what it takes to be a good team guy.

But does the backup quarterback really want the starter to succeed at the beginning of the season?

Which bugs you more?

When characters in TV shows/movies drive for geologic periods of time without glancing at the road ahead or when they make plans to meet someone but leave out all sorts of necessary information such as the exact time and place?

Does it make you a bad person?

If nothing about county fairs interests you?

Just wondering

Ever been watching sports on TV and seen a competitor go down with an injury and legitimately been able to say to yourself, “I know exactly how that feels”?

Questions you can’t really ask at work

“How much repressed sexual tension do you think there is here?”

“Is that guy who rides his bike to work aware that he smells like he has been exercising?”

Just wondering

Are there any situations where flipping off another driver in traffic is not just pointless, immature, low-class, potentially road-rage inciting and possibly a gross misinterpretation of events but is, in fact, a socially corrective expression of mild frontier justice saying “I clearly saw what you did and here is what I think of the choice you made”? 

The key to a successful handshake

Most of us know how to do it when the other person is also an adult.

You know, firm but not too firm. One pump and you're out. Et cetera.

But what if the person wanting to shake with you is about four years old and has tiny hands?

Do you envelop the child's whole hand? Do you extend a couple of fingers for the youth to grasp? Switch to a fist-bump?

Just wondering

In your opinion, what was the biggest difference between TV's “Cheers” and most real bars?

Just wondering

When you were school age, did you ever have a year where you changed a lot between the end of classes in the spring and the start of the next grade in September?

Just wondering

How many pet owners use the verb “slop” when referring to taking care of their animals? 

Just wondering

When you are setting up a first face-to-face meeting with someone at a public place, how do describe the way you look?

Get blog updates by email

About this blog

Features writer Paul Turner is a columnist for The Spokesman-Review in the Features department. He writes "The Slice" column, which appears six times a week and produces general features stories for the Today section.

Latest comments »

Read all the posts from recent conversations on The Slice.

Search this blog
Subscribe to this blog
ADVERTISEMENT
Advertise Here