This guy once held an elected office in the Inland Northwest. 

www.harperleetkm.blogspot.com  

But you might have noticed that there are a few out there.

So how would you explain the discrepancy?

1. Did quicksand incidents in TV Westerns freak you out when you were a kid?

2. How many people describing a scene as being like a “war zone” have ever actually been anywhere near war? (This is a friend's pet peeve, first mentioned to me way back during Ice Storm.)

3. Have you ever found yourself in the position of having to ask for some sort of assistance from an elected official for whom you have zero respect?

Sometimes well-intentioned people just flat run out of time.

So here are eight back-up topics for your book club meeting when it's obvious nobody read the book:

1. When you're in a hotel, do you ever listen through the wall to hear what's happening in the next room?

2. What assumptions do people make about a Spokane woman based on how much makeup she wears?

3. Can you detect an Inland Northwest accent?

4. Why are some people simply not happy unless they are trying to get their church pastor fired?

5. Does Hollywood's fondness for interracial buddy movies distort our perception of how blacks and whites relate to one another in real life?

6. Would you consider it a compliment if someone said you were completely without guile?

7. Agree or disagree: Most people tend to overrate their ability to disguise the fact that they find someone wildly attractive.

8. Is there a place for dirty jokes?

1. How many people who have tried to sing Joni Mitchell's “River” can actually skate?

2. How many kids have had their picture taken with the horse statue outside P.F. Chang's?

3. When preparing a Christmas-bonus envelope for your newspaper delivery person, do you include a critique of the service so as to avoid the appearance of issuing a blanket endorsement?

4. What percentage of those complaining about the mainstream media (whether from the left or from the right) have even the slightest idea of how the MSM actually operate?

5. How has texting changed Christmas shopping? 

6. In competitive parking situations, have you ever felt stalked by space-seeking drivers as you walked back to your car carrying bags from a couple of stores?

7. When you had a Christmas goose, how much grease cooked off?

1. People here realize, don't they, that an air force base's reason for being isn't to help prop up the local economy?

2. Are architects especially good at arranging the wood in a fireplace?

3. Are you old enough to remember when little burn marks from cigarette ashes dotted practically every surface of indoor public spaces?

4. Did you know Expo '74 was still open on this date way back then? (The fair ended Nov. 3.) 

What look would go for in your mug shot?

A) I'm not really drunk. B) I'm not really high. C) This is all a big misunderstanding. D) Upbeat, confident. E) Well, this day has just turned out great. F) I might look wasted but I'm actually in complete command of my…what's that on my sleeve…GET IT OFF ME, MAN. G) Most likely to succeed. H) One day I'll laugh about this. I) Two shows nightly. J) Other.

1. What's the biggest fair you have attended? (I have heard that those state fairs in the Midwest are unbelievably huge.) 

2. What percentage of your youth did you spend listening to Edgar Winter's “Frankenstein” (possibly against your will)? (Feel free to substitute “Bohemian Rhapsody,” “Paradise by the Dashboard Light,” “Free Bird” or some other seemingly 30-minute song.)

3. Would it disappoint you if college athletic scholarships were done away with?

4. Could you show a kid how to make a decent paper airplane?

5. Do you remember the name of someone with whom you danced in junior high?

6. What's the loudest airplane you have ever heard?

7. If you were a baseball team's manager, how frequently would you get thrown out of the game by umpires? 

1. Is your family torn apart by differences over salsa-brand preference?

2. Do you know anyone who refers to the Internet as “Skynet”?