Posts tagged: Slice readers
After I asked readers to invite me along when they walk their dogs, several families volunteered. I suspect a few of them wondered if I really would pick up after their pooches, as I promised to do.
Here are snippets from a handful of those emails. Thanks to all.
“The bag I use to scoop the poop is none other than the 'Good Paper' bag, which I now think of as the good pooper bag!” — Jenifer Priest
“My youngest son, who is now 14, has always had a weird preoccupation with your column. I think he was in preschool when it first caught his eye. He can't understand why you get to be in the paper (he would kill me if he knew I was telling you this). He thinks this latest offer to help with poop scooping is the craziest idea yet.” — Dawn Sidell
“I would like to nominate my 12-year-old mastiff, Willie, for your dog walk adventure. I believe that bigger is always better. At 150+ pounds, Willie epitomizes the word 'big.' Big bark, big appetite, and big…well, let's just say that when it comes to picking up after Willie, he's a two-bagger.” — Mike Boseth
“I can see Steptoe, 35 miles away. Plenty of fresh air. We have a nice one-mile route, fairly flat, and not much traffic. The dog is a collie.” — Steven Stuart
“While Ellen and Michael (Sherriffs) are at work, I'm responding to yesterday's Slice. I take my people for a walk every day, except Bloomsday. I'd love to have you join us. This is the best part of their day.” — Abby
“We do a short walk of about two blocks down to the beach, at which time we might enter that area and relax for a time, while enjoying the view of the lake.” — Jack Newcomb
“We live in the Hollywood neighborhood (Shadle area actually), so you could say you saw a dog take a dump on a Hollywood yard.” — Kenny Hall
“It would be great to share our favorite walk with you and my little Papillion (miniature spaniel), Tickle. We love to walk down to the Spokane River and explore the area near Donkey Island.” — Diane Stutzman
“You want poop patrol? We have poop!” — Guy and Diane Perham
“I would love to have you come over and pick up after my dog!” — Lauri Sippel
“I am writing to offer you the opportunity to walk and clean up after the greatest dog in all of Spokane, our yellow lab Gump.” — Peter Yocom
“It's too bad you didn't ask this question back in January when we still had Charger, our pug on wheels. About two years ago, he lost the use of his back legs, adapted to his wheelchair and never stopped adventuring. He'd pop the occasional wheelie and was shameless in begging friends and strangers for head rubs. RIP, good buddy.” — Peggy Rolando
“I feel it's necessary for me to offer my assistance in helping you achieve the quintessential Spokane experience of picking up doggie poo.” — Caryl Thomas
“Marilyn, my lab, and I would love to have you join us on one of our walks.” — Joy Nagle
“Mr. Bojangles, the Maltese, and Stella ,the toy poodle, would love to leave something for you to pick up.” — Nathaniel Hildebrand
“I think Arlo (named after Arlo Guthrie) is your ticket to poop-bliss.” — Dylan Karaus
“This may also encourage more people to 'pick up.' Thanks.” — Marlene Peters
“Attached is a photo of Gizmo the Dog who is praying that you will select him to be your dog-walking partner.” — Ray Tansy
“We go on dog friendly ghost walks of downtown Spokane and its haunted cemeteries.” — John and Catherine Caskey
“How about this, for the real experience of dog bathroom support in Spokane County, come on out and help me clean up my backyard.” — Jerry Hickman
“We can't provide the opportunity to experience doggy clean-up, but if you ever get the urge to experience litter-box freshening, please call!” — Janet Lake
“Your neighbor's cat would probably think the column about dog walking/poop would make a good cat box liner.” — Kevin Decker
“She thinks you went to the dark side.” — Jim Gyarfas
“I so wish I could invite you to pick up after our dog. Maddie-the-Mostly-Good-Dog was a shelter dog who was with us for 14 years, until February. The silliest things like your column today (May 13), still make me tear up. You probably would have liked her.” — Ann Murphy
Got a phone message from a reader who claimed that this is the Spokane bridge abutment they're planning to tear down (see story in today's paper).
I'm pretty sure he offered this observation in a spirit of levity. If not, maybe I should call him back and use the Sydney Pollack line from “Tootise.”
Wasn't this a great album?
Tip No. 3.
When sending an email to Paul Turner urging him to commit ritual hara kiri at his earliest convenience, do not claim that you never read the column.
Plenty of people do not, in fact, read The Slice. Some of them manage to be productive citizens. But these individuals do not regularly inform Mr. Turner in great detail about why the column annoys them.
Saying that you never read it or happened by some cruel trick of fate to read it “just this once” hurts your credibility as a critic of the media.
One might ask, how did you acquire these trenchant insights about The Slice's manifold shortcomings? Did a vision come softly creeping in the night? Were you the victim of an unwelcome mind meld with a Vulcan who reads The Slice?
No, you're better off just going straight to “Drop dead!” and skipping the petulant farce.
Next: How to deal with family members who drive you crazy because they think The Slice is “OK once in a while.”
Here's a note from Monique Lillard, who teaches at the University of Idaho.
She now has my permission to write to me anytime she wants.
“Your column reminded me of the Iliad, where Homer describes all the towns that sent warriors, and has a line or two about each place — 'known for good olives,' 'known for lovely women,' 'known for huge ships,' 'known for strong oarsmen,' and so forth. So there's your classical allusion of the day.”
In looking for an image of Homer, I had to clarify my search terms to get through the thicket of pictures of Homer J. Simpson.