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The Slice

Posts tagged: Slice readers

Local connection asserted

Got a phone message from a reader who claimed that this is the Spokane bridge abutment they're planning to tear down (see story in today's paper).

I'm pretty sure he offered this observation in a spirit of levity. If not, maybe I should call him back and use the Sydney Pollack line from “Tootise.”

Wasn't this a great album?

More postcards from Slice readers

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7 Habits of Highly Effective Slice Haters

Tip No. 3.

When sending an email to Paul Turner urging him to commit ritual hara kiri at his earliest convenience, do not claim that you never read the column.

Plenty of people do not, in fact, read The Slice. Some of them manage to be productive citizens. But these individuals do not regularly inform Mr. Turner in great detail about why the column annoys them.

Saying that you never read it or happened by some cruel trick of fate to read it “just this once” hurts your credibility as a critic of the media.

One might ask, how did you acquire these trenchant insights about The Slice's manifold shortcomings? Did a vision come softly creeping in the night? Were you the victim of an unwelcome mind meld with a Vulcan who reads The Slice?

No, you're better off just going straight to “Drop dead!” and skipping the petulant farce.

Next: How to deal with family members who drive you crazy because they think The Slice is “OK once in a while.”

Some of my readers have book learnin’

Here's a note from Monique Lillard, who teaches at the University of Idaho.

She now has my permission to write to me anytime she wants.

“Your column reminded me of the Iliad, where Homer describes all the towns that sent warriors, and has a line or two about each place — 'known for good olives,' 'known for lovely women,' 'known for huge ships,' 'known for strong oarsmen,' and so forth. So there's your classical allusion of the day.”

In looking for an image of Homer, I had to clarify my search terms to get through the thicket of pictures of Homer J. Simpson.

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About this blog

Features writer Paul Turner is a columnist for The Spokesman-Review in the Features department. He writes "The Slice" column, which appears six times a week and produces general features stories for the Today section.

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