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Posts tagged: unsolicited advice

How to talk to girls

I sometimes listen to teenage boys talking to girls on the bus.

And I have come to a conclusion: Some of them need better material.

Sure, it might be their nature to lurch between being monosyllabic slabs of meat and self-absorbed motormouths. But I know some of these boys have potential. So here's what I wish I could tell them.

If you want a girl to notice you, find the right moment and tell her about your hopes and dreams. Then ask about hers. Listen. Ask questions.

OK, there's no guarantee this will work. But who knows? Maybe it would with Miss Right.

The girl might laugh, of course. Or yawn.

But what if she doesn't?

Girls long to be taken seriously, just as you do. Sharing an aspiration is a small gift of trust. It just might be well-received.

Here's the thing, though. You have to mean it. If your “I know what I want to be” spiel is pure BS, a smart girl will spot you as a phony in an instant. And smart girls are the ones you want.

But if there really is a vision of the future you hope to pursue, and you have thought about what it would take to make it happen…well, that could be the start of a conversation worth having.

A little modesty and self-deprecating humor wouldn't hurt. But if you believe in yourself — even if no one else seems to — it's OK to let that show.

Maybe, before you know it, she will, too.

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About this blog

Features writer Paul Turner is a columnist for The Spokesman-Review in the Features department. He writes "The Slice" column, which appears six times a week and produces general features stories for the Today section.

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