Every day I get inundated with junk. I want to share
A GRIP ON SPORTS • You get a lot of junk email? Me too. And I thought today would be a great day to pass some of mine along. Read on.
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• I wake up every morning with a long list of emails I must delete. How I got on some companies mailing lists is a complete mystery. Others, I’m pretty sure I bought a hat or book or coffee cup from once a long time ago. No matter. They bug me every day. And now, I’m going to let them bug you as well.
• The Mariners.com Shop: Why the heck would I want a cap from this forgettable season. Unless it was a game-used Fernando Rodney one that fits when cocked to the side. And it has to come with a built-in blown save. That would be perfect. In case you were wondering, Rodney has appeared in 10 games for the Cubs, has blown just one save – though both that failure and his successful hold came in eighth-inning appearances – and has a 1.04 ERA. His relative success in Chicago as a setup guy has lowered his overall ERA to 5.01. Which tells you everything you need to know about his Seattle season.
• TGW.com: I’ve purchased a lot of items here over the years, so I understand the daily ads. But there’s no way I’m a Dick Bennett-type of customer. If you didn’t know, the former Washington State basketball coach may have owned every golf instructional aid known to man. Remember how Rene Russo looked when she was out hitting balls at Kevin Costner’s driving range in “Tin Cup?” ... Ya, me too. Wait, I meant all the gear she was wearing. That was Dick, except he wasn’t so blatant about it. Though he probably would have worn a headbrace-type item if it could have helped him shave a half stroke off his handicap. Wouldn’t have helped, though. Tony was always going to be better. On the golf course.
• Pregame.com: OK, this really isn’t junk mail. But I’m not the type of guy who is going to pass along betting notes. Did you know the Colts are 17-2 against the spread following a loss? Or that the Steelers are 1-9 against the spread outside the Eastern Time Zone? Or ... hey wait, this one is interesting. The Raiders have lost 15 consecutive games in the Eastern Time Zone. Of course, they’ve also lost about two-thirds of all their games recently, but if you want to bet, any tidbit will do.
• Groupon: I’ve used Groupon exactly once. For my trouble I received a couple bucks off an exercise machine that fell apart after about six months. Killed by lack of use I do believe. Anyone, I’ve traded that one purchase into approximately 4,932 emails. Today I was offered discounts on personalized coffee mugs – oh great, a selfie I can look at every day – and Coco Limon Jogger pants – those have a chance of fitting on the arm of the exercise machine, maybe. Sometimes the emails do have something that seems to fit, though. Take today for example. A slimming waist shaper for $8.99. I could buy a dozen. That should get me through, I don’t know, October?
• Facebook: My favorite. Every couple days Mark Zuckerberg sends me an email telling me everything I’ve missed on Facebook recently. As I haven’t really accessed my account in more than three years (what was my password again?), the list keeps piling up. When the friend requests hit 1,000, I may just log-in again. Until then, forget it.
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• WSU: The Cougars are still moving through their bye week, which means Jacob Thorpe’s presence is limited. Heck, he doesn’t even have a morning post today. Slacker. However, he did assign grades to the first quarter of the season for each of eight position groups. I did the math and came up with an overall mark of C-plus. Or B-minus, depending on whether you round up or down. ... The Cougars have offered a junior quarterback out of Oregon. ... Oregon State and Stanford match up tonight with the Cardinal quarterback Kevin Hogan a question mark. ... You like picks? We have some more. ... Arizona will have its first really big test of the season when UCLA comes to town Saturday. ... Arizona State is also being tested by an angry USC team.
• Gonzaga: For the first time since 2009, Gonzaga is 1-0 in WCC volleyball play.
• EWU: Eastern has made a living finding offensive linemen in hidden spots all over the West. Jim Allen has a feature on the latest in a long line, Clay DeBord (pictured) from Asotin. ... Jim also held a live chat yesterday and has a transcript.
• Chiefs: The WHL season opens tonight. Chris Derrick has this look at the U.S. Division, culled from those who cover each of the teams. ... Portland still expects for the division title. ... Everett has decided on a captain.
• Preps: The doubleheader at Albi last night began with a blowout and ended with another. Greg Lee was at both, U-Hi’s 59-7 win over North Central and Gonzaga Prep’s 49-21 win over Mt. Spokane (pictured). ... Dan Pelle was also there and has these photographs. ... We can pass along a roundup of action in other sports as well.
• Seahawks: So the team isn’t saying, but his teammates expect Kam Chancellor to be on the field this Sunday against the Bears. ... We do know brothers Michael and Martellus Bennett will be there. They have to be. It helps the brand. ... We also don’t know how many times Jimmy Graham will be targeted and how many times he’ll touch the ball. Let’s hope it’s enough everyone will quiet down. ... Russell Wilson won’t be drawn into a war of words with Aaron Rodgers.
• Mariners: James Paxton is about as durable as the Fiat I owned in college. If only the M’s had a trainer named Tony, it would be perfect. Anyhow, Paxton tore a fingernail last night in his start and left in the second inning. The Royals won 10-4 and won the American League Central. ... Taijuan Walker’s season is more-than-likely finished.
• Sounders: As the season winds down, the Sounders need others besides Obafemi Martins and Clint Dempsey to step up. Enter Chad Barrett and Lamar Neagle (pictured). ... The way the MLS pays its young players colors the rest of their careers. ... Real Salt Lake still has a shot at moving on in the Champions League.
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• If you would like, I could forward your email address to some of the places who like to contact me. I know there is a certain accountant general in Burkina Faso who would love to give you a few dollars. Until later ...
