Paul Turner

They could be your co-workers or even your neighbors. But their smiles give them away. They are the grown men who, decades into adulthood, still silently revel in not having to dread the start of high school football practice. Dream on, kid: "We were having lunch in a restaurant one day when a young mother and two children, about 2 and 4, sat down at a table next to ours," wrote Tekoa's Zoe Rawlings. "The mother looked at the menu. The little 4-year-old boy announced 'I guess I'll have the prime rib.' He ended up with chicken strips."

1. Jim Nelson visited his daughter and grandchildren in Northern B.C. Now that's escaping the heat wave. 2. Lincoln's 10,000 Silver Dollar collection, started in 1952, has over $2,500 embedded in the bar top alone. Today the popular spot is Montana's largest gift shop. 3. The Shelleys left "the boy & dog with the grandparents" and took a side trip to Panama City Beach, Florida. 4. Ken Martin sent this educational post card. The Washington State Geoduck grows several times the size of other clams. 5. The Johnsons, residents of Las Vagas, recommend the Latin-themed extravaganza "CONGA!" at Rio. 6. "Relatives recall kids going over to Bill's house just to hear him think." Clinton that is, next to the teacher. 7. The Shelleys made it home to Tumbleton, Alabama, pop. 150. "We're sittin' on the porch, sippin' lemonade 'n' watchin' tractors go by."

Nancy Lindberg and her 8-year-old daughter, Hannah, were about to leave a downtown parking garage after shopping. So Lindberg asked the little girl to get the ticket out of her wallet. That prompted Hannah to ask: "Mom, did you remember to get evaluated?"

You don't have to go outside to feel the heat. Among the other things it has going for it, 1951's "A Streetcar Named Desire" - on cable's AMC twice today - features some of filmdom's best depictions of people sweating out a sultry summer. Another of our favorites in this category is "Body Heat," from 1981. What movies would make your list?

We don't run a small business, so we wouldn't know. But The Slice has heard that it's common in Spokane for customers to show up 10 minutes before the posted opening time and bang on the doors and windows until let in. Is this true? Just wondering: Ever seen someone with your exact birthday while watching the scroll of Spokane criminal suspects on cable channel 5? Generation gap: Kammi McClenahan made some reference to her mother in the presence of her grandson, 4-year-old Jarrod Lallier. "You have a mother?" he asked incredulously. "Yes, I have a mother and a father." "But you're a grandma," Jarrod pointed out. "Grandmas have mothers and fathers, too, Jarrod." The little boy thought about this for a moment before saying, "Are you lying?" Another 4-year-old in action: Inchelium's Andrea Pakootas came to Spokane with her granddaughter, Alyssa. The first destination was a bank, where Pakootas cashed a check. The next couple of stops resulted in Alyssa hearing, over and over, that the things she wanted cost too much. So the little girl came up with a suggestion. "Gramma, let's go back to the store that pays you." What's wrong with this picture: A friend overheard a woman at a wedding reception decline a beer because of pregnancy. Her health concern might have been a bit more convincing, however, if she hadn't been smoking at the time. Thanks, Mr. Wilson: Spokane's Schilling family hadn't met neighbor Matthew Wilson before he came to the aid of the Schillings' puppy after it was hit by a motorist who drove off. But you can guess how they feel about him now. (Looks like the dog will be OK.) Today's Slice question: How long does it usually take yellowjackets to learn of your plans to eat outdoors?

The hugs, handshakes, smooches and giddy "there's that baby!" squeals had already happened. Those everyday scenes had been played out at an arrival gate at the Spokane International Airport Friday morning. Now it was time for the passengers off United flight 1055 from San Francisco to descend into the dark pit of human malevolence.

Check out that mushroom frosting and send in your caption.

We got a call from a guy who said "Why don't you say something nice about people once in a while." What an idiot. If he had been reading, ah, never mind. Let's get on with the countdown. No cigar: "At the Fairchild Air Force Base near Seattle, where O'Grady...." - The Oregonian

Teachers come to Gonzaga University from all over the country to attend Bob Carriker's Lewis and Clark Expedition seminars. And some of them bring their kids. Fourteen of those children recently got together and sold lemonade in front of GU's Administration Building. They didn't say what they intended to do with the money they made, which turned out to be $60.

Not everyone buys it. But it's our theory that for people working traditional job schedules, the weekend starts, psychologically at least, on Thursday. Face it. The T-shirts aren't the only make-believe aspect of Friday. When Marilyn Trail realized that getting what you wanted didn't guarantee bliss: "It was 1953," she wrote. "My annual clothing budget: $75. I knew happiness would be mine if I could have the sage green Pendleton pleated skirt and matching cashmere sweater in the window of Moscow's Parisian. Decision made, budget blown, my anticipated joy melted into misery as I wore it on the first day of school in 100-degree temps."

Cooks aren't the only ones who contribute to meal preparation. But you never hear about the important roles played by other members of the household. In the hidebound food world, the selfless acts of these unsung heroes of the culinary arts have been ignored. Until now. So how do you help whip up dinner without ever stirring a sauce or tossing in a little more garlic? Let's count the ways: 1. Grocery shopping: Lots of noncooks go to the store. Everybody knows that. But have you ever really considered the possibility that this might in fact be the single most trying step in meal preparation? Think about it. There you are, courageously trying to decipher the hieroglyphics on a list you didn't write. The guy in a Husky hat in front of you is totally blocking the aisle by turning his cart sideways. Some kid behind you is sneezing fudgesicle juice on your leg. And never far from your thoughts is the grim certainty that failing to get the right kind of almond extract will mean having to come back to the store and go through it again. That's not all. A lot of cooks make a big deal about how much pressure they are under to get everything to come out right and at the same time, blah, blah, blah. But if you want to talk about being under the gun, just try defending the purchase of so-so produce.

It was an open house, not a careers day for kids. But more than once firefighter Lisa Jones shared a secret about her occupation with the girls and boys checking out the Spokane Fire Department's Station No. 9 on Sunday afternoon. "If I could do it, you could do it."

Here's how to improve the productivity of the Spokane area's workforce during summer. Schedule more early afternoon tee times.

As you know, it's against the law in the Spokane area to express muted enthusiasm for summer. Ya gotta love it. But we have heard that some people are quietly celebrating the fact September is only 40 days away. They prefer fall. And they know stores will be putting up Halloween decorations any day now.

(photos of 3 carrousel horse stamps)

We were walking in Peaceful Valley when we came upon two young girls operating a sad little refreshments stand. Their price: 25 cents per cup for a brownish-orange drink. One of the girls, not at all discouraged, reported that they had had one customer.

Saturday's Sprague Days parade was over. And the little tree-lined park in the center of town had become a 5-pound bag stuffed with 10 pounds of summer.

The fine folks at the Spokane Regional Convention & Visitors Bureau don't know it. But I've been doing their job for them. There's no money in it. But I like the work.

A District 81 newsletter included a thank-you note a boy had written to a beekeeper who visited Adams Elementary before school let out. He wrote: "Next time will you bring birds so we will know that whole story?"

Here's a tip. When friends invite you over to pick fruit in their yard, it's bad form to totally clean them out. The problem with people: DeDe McKay saw a man watering plants in a Spokane drug store. "Isn't it too bad that humans can't be as beautiful as those flowers," she said. He burst out laughing. "Yeah," he answered. "But you can't prune 'em."

Spokane's Carol Williams overheard this on a flight from Seattle to Las Vegas. Little girl looking out a window: "Do the people down there talk like we do?" Little boy: "Yes, but all of their faces are different."

Fruit is just the beginning at the annual Green Bluff Cherry Festival. Sure, those who head up to the popular orchard area north of Spokane on Saturday and Sunday can grab fistfuls of cherries. There will be tons of Bings, Rainiers and Lapins from which to choose. But festival-goers can also listen to live music, have their faces painted, feed vigorously on homemade pies and cobbler, ride in a pony cart, eat chicken and catfish, check out arts and crafts, and pet llamas. Or you can just walk around the orchards, soak up the view of Mount Spokane, fantasize about retooling your lifestyle and perhaps seek out one of the farmers for a reality check. Five orchards will take part. There are to be activities from about 9 a.m. until 6 p.m. both days, according to orchardist Arlene Morrell. Admission and parking are free. Look for signs on Green Bluff Road and Day-Mount Spokane Road. The festival features several events geared for young children. Here are the participating fruit farms and their phone numbers: Walter's Fruit Ranch, 238-4709. Hidden Acres, 238-4031. Beck's Harvest House and Orchard, 238-6970. Wellens' Luscious Fruit and Antiques, 238-6978. Gibson's Orchard, 238-4874.

Ben Guhin's mom noticed that the 7-year-old boy hardly ever opened his eyes during a swimming lesson. So she asked him, how come? "I couldn't," Ben said. "There was too much caffeine in the pool." Rising above it: "STA bus drivers get flipped off more than anyone in the Inland Northwest," wrote Katie Youngren. "I usually respond by smiling and waving (all five fingers) or by blowing a kiss. It's rather enjoyable watching the offenders' faces turn eight shades of red." Slice answers: Jim Nelson thinks everyone around here with grandchildren in California could easily fit in the Opera House. "Because most of those grandchildren have moved up here." And the Washington Trust Bank branch in Deer Park and Peone Pines Veterinary got late but heart-felt support in voting for the business that hires the best people. Northwest public policy debate: Uh, on second thought, let's make this item a ranking of our favorite Paul Revere and the Raiders songs. 1. "Him Or Me - What's It Gonna Be?" 2. "Kicks." 3. "Good Thing." 4. "Hungry." Do us a favor: Don't say you saw hail stones the size of golf balls unless they really were that big. Nobody talks about it: But the real reason some people tell their hair stylists everything is that nobody else really listens. The thing that makes Spokane different: "Is the fact that more men look like ZZ Top than in any other city." - V. Pate Summer etiquette: Don't gawk or do a lot of throat-clearing. Just be straight-forward about it. Say "It would appear your swimsuit has unexpectedly come off." Warm-up questions: Who has the area's most dramatic wristwatch tan line? Is there a discrepancy in your household between girls' allowances and boys' allowances? Today's Slice question: What Spokane business do you still miss even though it closed long ago?

About 15 people and one much-petted arthritic old dog waited by the road next to the little Lamont Grain Growers building, where wheat prices are posted in the window. There was small talk and glancing at watches. A towheaded preschooler announced he was running away "forever and ever," but no one seemed alarmed. Then it happened. "Here comes one," said the guy who appeared to be in charge. "It's Art," someone else called out. And everybody looked way down the road at the man running toward them. "Yes, it's Art all right," said a man nodding his head. A few onlookers clapped. Others called out his name. The Lamont Jaunt, a sun-soaked 3.2-mile fun run, was about to have a winner - he finished in 20:43. But Lamont Day, a celebration Saturday in this town of fewer than 100 people tucked in the northwest corner of Whitman County, was just starting. By the time the last of the 30 or so entrants had made it to the finish, Art - a thirtysomething guy with sandy hair, a thin beard and a hole in one of his sneakers - was back from a shower and change of clothes. Spectators and participants gathered in the middle of the lowtraffic main drag for a low-key ribbon ceremony. Several wore their new blue Lamont Jaunt T-shirts. Then it was time to get ready for the parade. The staging area was several blocks away, over by the school, not far from the sign declaring that Lamont is a "Nuclear Free Zone." Maybe 75 people lined the two-block route, some in lawn chairs. A woman near a car displaying a "Proud to be a farmer" bumper sticker stood ready with a video camera. "Somebody do something fun," she said. The parade got under way about 15 minutes late. But inasmuch as almost everyone knew it would last only about 10 minutes, there hadn't been much fussing - except from a few of the toddlers who were actually in it. The parade proved to be a perfect smile-producing cross between utterly lame and disarmingly sweet. In addition to restored vintage cars, it featured a farm truck adorned with balloons, a house cat named Joe being pulled in a little wagon, a horse and buggy and the winner of the Lamont Jaunt riding up in the volunteer fire department's red truck. "Hey, Art," someone yelled. Art waved.