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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

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Driving time: 1 hour, 12 minutes

Here’s a scary thought: Lee Smith rode from Tempe to San Diego on Friday afternoon with his California Angels bullpen partner Mitch Williams at the wheel.

“Say a prayer for me, I’m gonna need it,” Smith joked as the Angels broke camp in Arizona. “I tell you one damn thing, I’m not gonna sleep. How would I describe his driving? I haven’t come up with a name for it yet, but it ain’t pretty. I can’t believe it. I’m driving to San Diego with the Vile Thing.”

Put a head under that beer

Where’s Crowd Management Services when Bob Strumm and Kerry Toporowski need them?

The former Spokane Chiefs general manager-coach and a few of his Las Vegas Thunder proteges - including Toporowski, the one-time Chiefs enforcer - got into it with fans in Atlanta who poured beer on them during an IHL playoff game Thursday night.

None of the Vegas players made it into the stands, but it took 15 policemen and ushers to restore order.

The fracas began near the penalty box when fans began pouring beer on Toporowski and teammate Mark Rodgers. Both climbed the rail to swing sticks at fans and were given game misconducts. As he was leaving, Topper elbowed Atlanta goalie Derek Wilkinson and drew a gross misconduct.

After Toporowski left the ice, six Las Vegas players on the bench and Strumm attempted to climb the boards to swing sticks at fans who were tossing beer.

When the game ended, Strumm and Atlanta coach John Paris vigorously pointed fingers at each other. Atlanta’s 7-1 victory cut Las Vegas’ lead to 2-1 in the best-of-5 series, which resumes in Atlanta Monday.

Just wondering: If you ask the vendor at Atlanta games to put a head on your brew, do they call it a Toporowski?

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Did you catch Scottie Pippen on the QVC shopping network last week? Toward the end of his appearance, his pager went off. He said it was Michael Jordan asking him to bring back two Grant Hill trading cards.

Baseball, the fan’s friend

You heard Frank Thomas whining over the White Sox moving batting practice back an hour to accommodate fans. Here’s what other players are doing to mend fences after the strike: Lenny Dykstra told some Phillies fans he couldn’t sign autographs because his hands felt “sticky.”

Then, of course, there was former Mariners twink Erik Hanson, who won five games last season when he was paid $2.7 million by Cincinnati. He signed with Boston this spring for $1.2 million.

“I took a bath,” Hanson said. “A huge bath.”

Apparently, he forgot to soak his head during that bath.

Support your local supporter

British Steel has scrapped sponsorship of the Middlebrough Football Club because its new stadium is being constructed partially with steel from Germany. A British Steel plant in the town, on the northeast coast of England, employs 4,200.

The last word …

“People ask me why we didn’t sign David Cone. Heck, we can’t even afford an ice cream cone.”

- Pirates manager Jim Leyland