Dream Snub Wake-Up Call For Kemp?

Don Nelson is among the more smugly arrogant of NBA coaches, which his critics find ironic since he is tied with both Beavis and Butt-head for number of NBA titles won as coach.

So it was more than a little surprising to see a look of helplessness cross his face. It had nothing to do with wunderkind-turned-nemesis Chris Webber.

“I’m between a rock and a hard place,” said Nelson. “They are grown men, responsible for their own actions. I can’t control it. I can only request that they not do it.”

Nelson, now the New York Knicks’ new head coach, was being grilled by American reporters at the World Championships of Basketball a year ago in Toronto. They had just witnessed the standard obliteration by the so-called Dream Team II of an opponent, this time Puerto Rico.

They also witnessed taunts, threats and shoves from the Americans. The behavior was familiar to anyone who has ever hooped on a playground. But viewed in this social context, it was a magnum belch in church.

“I don’t like it,” Nelson said. “I didn’t do it as a player.”

If Nelson was embarrassed, his Puerto Rican counterpart was disgusted.

“They are great basketball players, but they aren’t better people than we are,” said Puerto Rican coach Carlos Morales through an interpreter. “Just because they beat us by a wide margin doesn’t mean we don’t belong on the same floor or the same world with them.

“All the trash-talking, pushing, shoving. That doesn’t belong here. The players of the first Dream Team were legends. Those legends handled themselves better on the court and off the court.”

Now you know why Shawn Kemp was not named to the U.S. Olympic team in Atlanta next summer. Yet.

Two openings remain for the 12-man team. Kemp still will rate consideration, but selection may depend on conduct this season. So Shawn, if you’re interested in participating, here’s what that means:

No clutching of one’s private parts in public.

An absolute minimum of rim-hanging screams following dunks over the less blessed.

No group photos that include Derrick Coleman, Alonzo Mourning and Larry Johnson.

Those three were the chief transgressors of decorum in Toronto. They have as much chance for the 1996 Olympic hoop team as Danny DeVito.

Kemp was chiefly guilty of being a follower, not a leader. He was neither confrontational nor combative toward those he vanquished. But his crotch-grabbing, gesticulating and overdone celebrations were considered bad etiquette by USA Basketball, even if he did make the all-tourney team.

But we are talking basketball here, not high tea at Buckingham Palace, right?

Yes and no.

Kemp did nothing more in Toronto than he ever did in a Sonics uniform. Some Sonics followers are put off, but he doesn’t do it often, and it adds to the fun for many hometown fans.

But international basketball is different, particularly while the U.S. pros continue to dominate the world.

We Americans are probably the most self-critical culture in civilized history. We are also the biggest targets. Those whose jobs include representing the nation to the world, such as USA Basketball, are highly sensitive to any actions that would reinforce the “ugly American” stereotype that prevails, fairly or unfairly, among some non-Americans.

Is USA Basketball oversensitive? Maybe. But the ‘96 Games are in Atlanta, so you can bet that American hosts and athletes will be asked (ordered?) by the U.S. Olympic Committee to be gracious and sportsmanlike.

Judging by the talent gap in Toronto last summer, the rest of the basketball world is still several Olympics away from catching up to America in hoops. That presents future Dream Teamers with an enduring problem: How to throttle back on the competitive juices without becoming part of the biggest sports upset since the Soviets lost the 1980 hockey gold to the Yanks.

Since any 12 of 200 NBA players could be assembled to win the gold, USA Basketball can afford to put a premium on character and self-control that has the best chance of finding the balance. That doesn’t explain how Scottie Pippen made the team, but can allow the honchos to say that Kemp should have known better in Toronto.

Pippen was a part of the first Dream Team at the 1992 Summer Games in Barcelona. He was so far down the pecking order of that image-conscious team that any knotheadedness would have been dealt with in the locker room.

But few among the U.S. players in Toronto caught the drift before the bad impression was set. Even the coach was helpless to do anything about it.

From that team, only Shaquille O’Neal and Reggie Miller have been invited to Atlanta - so far.

There remains time for Kemp to discover that the true masters of basketball studhood rarely find use for words or gestures.