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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Attempt To Obtain Elway Autograph Falls Incomplete

Pauline Anderson doesn’t follow football - though Seattle Seahawks quarterback John Friesz once worked as a dishwasher for her at Franklin’s Hoagies. Pauline wouldn’t know buck-toothed John Elway from Mr. Ed, the talking bronco. Still, while dining at The Cedars recently, she got excited when a friend whispered, “You’ll never guess who’s here - John Elway!” (As she related the tale, Pauline asked, “Is it Elway or Elwood?”). Instantly, Pauline wanted a famous person’s autograph for her restaurant wall. So, she went over “to the guy in the purple shirt” and asked for his autograph. He was pleased to oblige, but there was a problem. He wasn’t Elway. The Denver QB was sitting at the next table, also wearing a purple shirt. A lighter shade than Pauline’s face.

Speedy justice

Consecutive items published recently in the news of record of a Bonner County newspaper: “A 15-year-old Coeur d’Alene boy was arrested for grand theft at 11:33 a.m.” and “A 15-year-old boy was released from detention at 1:26 p.m. after serving his time.” Now, that’s a slap on the wrist. … Born Losers: Imagine how foolish two cheapskates felt after they were caught sneaking over a fence to hear Susannah McCorkle’s free concert at the Festival at Sandpoint. They were allowed to stay. … Calvary Lutheran Church parish secretary Carol Dunn invited us to call if we had any questions about an announcement she wanted printed “in your next issue of the Coeur d’Alene Press.” Hmmm.

Quickie ceremony

John Green wears black dress socks under his white athletic ones during racquetball games for a reason. He’s a quick-change artist. Recently, John performed a wedding at The Hitching Post in between games beginning at 6:15 and 7 p.m. Let’s hope his fee included a wedding shower. … A caller knew we’d reached our quota of ex-Californians when she read a reunion notice for the classes of 1945 and 1946 in the S-R. For Los Angeles High School! … Dave Estes joked he’d forgotten to charge Bonner County for golf carts used to chase two Spokane murder suspects Thursday at his Blanchard area course. “Oh,” reasoned the golf pro, “they can borrow them any time they want.”

Huckleberries

Hats off to Larry Strobel and The Perfection-Nots. The Coeur d’Alene marching band donated prize winnings from the Fourth of July Parade competition to the Coeur d’Alene Skate Park - $200. Can you help out, too? … Thai Palace business cards proudly announce: “We cook authentic food.” Is there any other kind? … Korean War vet Sam Sears chewed out Jacklin Seed Co. for flying the Japanese flag during the 50th anniversaries of the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombings. The Jacklin boys traditionally hoist the Rising Sun when a Japanese delegation visits. But Sam may have a point. … A gray sedan bore this bumpersnicker as it ran a red light Friday at I-95 and Appleway: “Real Men Love God.” Is that the same God who tells His followers in Romans 13 to obey the law? … Proper Names: Seems apropos that a fellow named Bent, from Hayden, recently paid a DUI fine. … Sightem: On the camper shell of a pickup cruising Appleway Friday: “Athol, Idaho … Yeth thure!” … Bumpersnicker III: On an older-model Honda with Washington plates headed west: “Spokane is loserville.”

Parting shot

I wonder if the anonymous author of an editorial in Wednesday’s Coeur d’Alene Press is still employed. The Brand X editorialist was toeing the HagaCorp line in condemning field burning but went a bit far by questioning the value of the industry. Wrote he (I presume it was a he): “The seed-grass industry isn’t providing protein for American families. Its output does not keep the Third World from the brink of starvation.” Nope, he opined, all it provides is “the green carpet of a golf course.” Which the writer might appreciate more if he earned enough to play on the bent grass at The Coeur d’Alene Resort course.

, DataTimes