Cheap Seats

Must be in the front row

Among the reams of clauses in Bill Parcells’ contract with the New England Patriots, there is a stipulation that the coach must be given the first seat of the first-class section on every team flight.

Miami Dolphins coach Don Shula has no such clause, but it’s clearly understood that when he reaches the team hotel on the road, there have to be six Michelobs and six Michelob lights stocked in his suite’s refrigerator.

And when Dennis Erickson reaches the team hotel … ha ha … well, nevermind. That one’s too easy.

We’d settle for an Arum-King bout

Los Angeles Times columnist Allan Malamud hints that a Mike Tyson-George Foreman bout could be in the works. His evidence?

On Tuesday, promoter Don King said, “I respect Bob Arum.” On Wednesday, rival promoter Bob Arum said: “On some levels, I respect Don King. He’s a very innovative and clever guy, but would you want him to handle your money?”

The question now, Malamud points out, is whether Arum’s heavyweight (Foreman) will ever get into the ring with King’s heavyweight (Tyson). “I got a call from an emissary of King’s,” Arum said last week in Los Angeles. “The emissary said King wanted to meet with me as soon as I got back to Las Vegas.”

The topic of the meeting would be a Tyson-Foreman bout for, say, next March. “George is 100 percent sure he can beat Tyson,” Arum said. “Tyson is very confident, too. I think King is the one who’s scared that his guy might lose.”

Arum has proposed that each fighter be guaranteed $15 million, with an extra $50 million for the winner.

Add boxing

James “Bonecrusher” Smith was often touted as the only heavyweight champ to have earned a college degree.

With his recent retirement, Smith can finally fall back on that college degree - instead of his fanny, as was so often the case in recent years.

No gimmes here

Eighty-year-old Bill Nary held several PGA putting records. One - needing just seven putts in nine holes - still stands. Another record, set in 1952, stood for 27 years. (During a round of 60 at the El Paso Open, he chipped in three times and finished with 19 putts.)

Nary, however, made Ripley’s “Believe It or Not” for a less distinguished putting feat, missing one from a half-inch away. He said he dropped the club on the ball to tap it in and the ball hopped over the cup and stopped on the opposite lip. Nary made that one.

Diminishing returns

In 1992, Kenny Henderson turned down $650,000 from the Milwaukee Brewers as their first draft pick. Two years later, he declined a $350,000 payout from the Montreal Expos as their second selection.

A year after that, last month to be exact, Henderson signed with the San Diego Padres for $55,000, and he never even got his college degree.

Said Peter Gammons of the Boston Globe: “Sounds like the perfect guy to manage Jack Clark’s finances.”

The last word …

“Nomo, Mr. Nice Guy”

- Headline for Esquire magazine article on popular Dodgers pitcher Hideo Nomo

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo