N.Y. Man Misses Out On Real Idaho

Not all national media figures view Idaho as a backwater State of the Apes. In fact, columnist Ben Stein of The American Spectator offered a defense of Idahoans after reading the condescending New York Times Magazine article, “Off the Grid.” Wrote Stein: “Yes, they’re very backward. … They still believe in helping neighbors, in not bragging, in not making money their god. They go back to a time when people treated each other like neighbors instead of like victims. Good, Mr. New York Magazine Man. Stay well away and keep Idaho just as it is.”

Good neighbors: Stein, author of a running diary for the conservative magazine, occasionally visits Sandpoint. In the August edition, he recounted how “Lorna, the beauty in the Edgewater’s cafe” and “Keith from the Windbag marina” modeled Idaho neighborliness. … Stein described how he impulsively bought a boat for son Tommy, and then stalled it on Lake Pend Oreille. That’s when Windbag owner Keith Sheckler “wordlessly motored over and towed us to the dock. He waved off thanks.” … Later, when Tommy got a blister on his toe, Lorna Martin “carefully studied his little dirty foot and massaged the toe.” Wrote Stein: “Show me any other restaurant in the world where the waitress would do that for a little boy.” Too bad Mr. New York Magazine man didn’t run into Lorna or Keith.

Geographically incorrect: A middle-aged dude with long blond locks recently introduced himself to a Scandinavian couple - as Willie Nelson’s drummer. The scene took place in the Holiday Inn lobby. When asked where he was from, the man replied, “Wyoming”- somewhere “near Glacier.” Let’s hope his musical ear is better than his geographical sense. … After learning that her budget copy was missing pages, Coeur d’Alene Councilwoman Dixie Reid complained, “How can I play if I don’t have a full deck?” Responded Councilman Kevin Packard: “You’ve been doing it for a long time.” Ouch.

Oopsy: I knew I was in trouble when Idaho State Police head dispatcher Glenna McGill called and kept referring to me as “Dear.” In Huckleberries Past, I told of a Post Falls Police Department dispatcher whose car broke down on I-90 early one morning after work. No one was available to give her a ride home to Coeur d’Alene but a KCSO deputy. Or so I thought. Actually, “De-e-ear,” said Glenna, an ISP officer was en route to help her when he was called off. Mea culpa. … (I’d like to think local law enforcement would be just as accommodating if they found the Huckleberry Hound broken down out there. Ha!)

Huckleberries: An S-R reporter got frustrated when a harried government worker repeated his phone number back to him three times - incorrectly. So, he repeated it a fourth time - very, very slowly. Unfazed, the woman responded, “I’m sorry, sir, it’s just that I’m dyslexic.” Open mouth. Insert foot. … Kudos to new Coeur d’Alene High football coach Bill Anderson for instituting a “no-cussing” policy for coaches and players alike. As for the rest of you coaches out there? Go thou and do likewise. … Groundskeeper Jerry Ryen breaks the monotony of preparing softball fields by chalking smiley faces for the on-deck circle of youth games and steeples for church leagues. Attaboy. … Local teacher Dave Ballard dropped by a newspaper from Frederick, Md., which, believe it or not, is called The Frederick Post. (For you newcomers, the town of Post Falls was founded by Frederick Post.)

Parting shot: Angry sheriff’s employees were busy picketing the Kootenai County Courthouse for higher wages Friday when a co-worker cautioned them. Apparently, another employee had handed out doughnuts. And picketers were gobbling them as they distributed literature. Chomping doughnuts, said the party pooper, isn’t the best way to remind passing motorists of your dedication and hard work. That’s 10-4, good buddy.

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