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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

The Slice ‘I Didn’t Quite Get That. Who Is It You’re Trying To Reach, Sir?’

After we wondered if telephone operators hear a lot of coughing at this time of year, a U S West operator who doesn’t want her name printed called us.

Yes, she said. They hear plenty of coughing. And obscenities. And belching. And eating. And gum chewing. And screaming children. And the sounds of callers going to the bathroom.

“Have a nice day,” she said.

Great moments in regional history: About 10 years ago, some geniuses looking for a way to promote Montana’s capital city came up with a memorable bumper-sticker slogan. “Have a Helena Day!”

Spokane pride: Soon after we theorized in print that there are a lot of bad drivers everywhere, a fax arrived. “Not THIS bad!”

Overheard at the Festival of Trees fashion show as models in evening gowns slinked by: “Now if I could only lose 40 pounds, that (dress) would be nice.”

Actual passage from a Frederick’s of Hollywood press release: “You can’t go wrong with a classic. Having warmed up the cool yule for nearly 50 years, Frederick’s offers holiday teddies in plush red or green velvet.”

How preschoolers see the world: When Carl Nolan Martensen was about 3 and living in Okanogan County, his family sold a horse to a man who already had one. The little boy thought about this for a moment, his mother recalled. And then he spoke up. “I know why he wants two,” said Carl. “If he spills juice on one, he can ride the dry horse.”

Next time, we’ll listen: The Wall Street Journal recently suggested that root beer is about to become ultra-trendy and sales are expected to skyrocket. But we feel honor-bound to point out that Swell Paper reporter Dan Hansen privately forecast exactly the same thing months ago.

Advice is cheap: “If you haven’t gotten a good salary increase in years or you’re at the top of your range, it’s time to polish up your resume and search for another job.” - Reader’s Digest

Today’s Slice question: How should a non-Christian respond to receiving a religious-themed Christmas card?

, DataTimes MEMO: The Slice appears Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098.

The Slice appears Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098.