Her Holidays Brighter Now

Kathy was 32, hooked on crack cocaine, jobless, deserted by her husband and about to lose her two boys when she met Nita Magnuson.

“I was nervous about her because I had to see her to keep my sons,” Kathy says now, smiling at Nita. Kathy’s not proud of most of her story, so she won’t use her last name. But she likes the latest chapters.

She had hit Jim, her 12-year-old son, several times before downing enough drugs to put her in the hospital last May. Jay, her younger son, constantly ran away. Jim wanted to die.

Before leaving the hospital, she was given a choice: lose custody of her sons or try Nita’s program.

The non-profit Idaho Child Abuse Response program trains screened adult volunteers to nudge families in trouble toward healthier lives. One volunteer, Jeanette, was freshly trained and ready for action when Kathy needed her.

Jeanette doesn’t use her last name to ensure Kathy’s anonymity. Kathy’s well-being is important to her. In five months, the two Coeur d’Alene women have become phone-yakking, deep secret-sharing friends.

Jeanette, who’s 36, had grown up with a stepfather who sexually abused her and a mother who hit her. She broke the pattern as a new mother by taking a class on parenting skills. She was the only parent voluntarily in the class.

Jeanette wasn’t the frowning, holier-than-thou do-gooder Kathy expected. She listened to Kathy’s nervous chatter, helped her budget, didn’t preach or even advise.

She was a phone call away at any time.

Kathy did her part, too.

“I was expecting it to be harder,” Jeanette says. “But Kathy was so receptive, so ready to change.”

Kathy quit drugs cold turkey, relying on Jeanette and Nita for support. She stayed away from bars and druggie friends. She found a full-time job and her husband returned.

As Kathy’s life stabilized, Jay, who’s 11, quit running, and Jim began living. Kathy weeps and lays her head on the table now as she relates what she put her boys through. Counseling has become a family ritual.

Jeanette agreed to stick with Kathy for two years. But the women know their friendship will continue long after their obligations to the program are fulfilled.

“I know with all my heart I wouldn’t be where I am without Jeanette and Nita,” Kathy says, hugging each with wholehearted love. “I know it takes me, too. But I couldn’t do it on my own. I would’ve given up.”

Tree time

‘Tis the weekend to tramp through the snow with the frozen kiddies to cut a Christmas tree before someone needs the bathroom. If that isn’t your cup o’ nog, hop into the heated sleigh in your driveway and get to Anchor House in Coeur d’Alene.

The group home for troubled boys or boys in trouble sells choice trees each Christmas to raise money for programs. Sounds like a good place to spend the Christmas bundle.

Lights, camera, action

If there’s a brownout in your neighborhood this month, blame your neighbor’s twinkling house. Then thank him or her. You can’t drive by the corner of 16th Street and Pennsylvania Avenue in Coeur d’Alene without smiling at the staggering display.

And don’t miss Winter Wonderland on 21st Place off Thomas Lane. The whole neighborhood went all out. So did the neighborhood south of Kathleen Avenue near the golf course.

But the piece de resistance, at least in the Coeur d’Alene area, is at 2440 Grandview Drive, atop Hayden Lake. This one makes you hit the brakes.

Where are the don’t-miss houses in your community? Spotlight them for Cynthia Taggart, “Close to Home,” 608 Northwest Blvd., Suite 200, Coeur d’Alene, ID, 83814; send a fax to 765-7149; or call 765-7128 to make it by Christmas.

, DataTimes