All He Wants Is A Nice Piece Of …

… land. Someone posing as Ottawa Rough Riders owner Bruce Firestone made that desire clear recently, taking bids for the cash-strapped Canadian Football League team on the Internet.

Under a message titled, Football Franchise for Sale, a computer user identified as B. Firestone wrote: “Great past, potential expanding American market, well staffed with professional consultants. Has experienced problems in the past but is now a welloiled machine. Guaranteed accounts, long building lease with flexible (very flexible) landlord. Make me an offer I can’t refuse. Prefer to sell to someone in town or trade for a nice piece of land. Thanks.”

“In this business, nothing surprises me,” said Firestone, who last month announced intentions to sell the team. “I have no idea who’s doing it or why.”

Coach doesn’t mind players with Butterfingers One of sports’ worst candy-holics is Kansas basketball coach Roy Williams, who keeps a desk drawer stocked with candy bars.

“I love ‘em,” Williams said. “My favorites are Butterfingers and Mars bars.”

Last fall, the trim Williams worried he was downing a few too many. “I decided to check and see how disciplined I am,” the coach said. “I tried to see if I could go 30 days without any. I did it, Oct. 15 to Nov. 15. Every day, I opened the drawer and just looked at the candy, just teasing myself.”

During a recent interview, Williams was interrupted by a player, C.B. McGrath. “Coach, I brought some brownies and stuff my mom made for you,” he said.

Williams’ eyes lit up. “Heyyyyy, that’ll get a few extra minutes for you.”

No, not the vaunted 2-2 zone Rare in hockey, shorthanded goals are unthinkable in basketball. Or are they? Coach Mike Andreasen knows better. Down to four players, his Maine-Augusta team sank 11 baskets in the final 13:48 to overcome Eastern Maine Technical College, 76-74. “It was like Rocky Balboa defeating Apollo Creed,” Andreasen said.

The Pumas, who have an eight-man roster, showed up at EMTC with only five players two had night classes, a third another commitment.

So when guard Cory Nutting fouled out with 13:48 to go and Maine-Augusta trailing 46-38, Andreasen had to admit the outlook was “kind of bleak.”

Using a two-two zone, however, the Pumas pulled out the win. “The way we played, three people could have beaten us,” EMTC coach Chuck Bates said.

I’ll take the 16-pounder, sonny Margaret White, the only known 100-year-old woman shot putter set an over-100 record Sunday with an 11-foot, 4-inch hurl in Oklahoma City, Okla.

Her reason for competing? To please her youngest son, a 62-year-old physical education teacher.

He keeps telling her, ‘My grandma could throw better than that.’

The last word …

“Hey, he was all-Croatia last year.”

- Cleveland Cavs coach Mike Fratellos, on guard Steve Colter, who played well in absence of two starters