In A War Of Catty Retorts, Moore Bares Her Felines

Demi Moore, despite her negative view of her physical charms, has displayed those charms au naturel on the covers of Vanity Fair and Rolling Stone magazines.

And no one else is stepping forward to disparage her appearance, even in the covers in which she was pregnant.

It hasn’t always been so, as she told Rolling Stone. Example: when she met Cosmopolitan editor Helen Gurley Brown.

“(She) told me I looked healthy when she really meant to say I looked fat - about eight years ago, when they sent me in to meet her at the magazine,” Moore said. “She said, `My, aren’t you a healthy girl!’ I should say that I have nothing against her even though she said such a mean thing to me. And it was a clever way of saying it, to be fair.”

Mark Hamill on the chances of reteaming with Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher in another “Star Wars” sequel (in TV Guide): “Sure, I can see it now, us zipping around in our anti-gravity wheelchairs.”

But she’s certainly not enduring it with grace

Princess Stephanie of Monaco turns 30 today.

Why don’t they write dialogue like that anymore?

The quote: “It’s 1 o’clock in the morning. People are trying to have sex up here.” The speaker: Actress Meg Ryan. The source: The movie “When a Man Loves a Woman,” co-starring Andy Garcia.

Maybe it’s because of that WWI battle at Philanderers Field

Julie Delpy graces nearly every frame of the Richard Linklater movie “Before Sunrise” (co-starring Ethan Hawke). But, she told Newsday, her physical beauty is relative. “In fact, I can look really ugly,” she said. Continuing on about life and the world, Delpy said, “American men are more prone to philandering than European men.” And, she said, some men “think it’s impossible to be creative without treating women badly.”

Manilow knows that she writes the songs

Everyone who has ever suffered stage fright can empathize with Dianne Warren. The 38-year-old composer, whose hits include “Don’t Turn Around” for Ace of Base, “If I Could Turn Back Time” for Cher, and “When I’m Back on My Feet Again” for her sometime collaborator, Michael Bolton, is happy providing the words and music for others. “I’ve always wanted to be a writer,” she says. “That’s what really makes me the happiest, to have someone record my songs and sing them great.”

He can just write a new girlfriend into the script

The life of Garry Shandling took a new twist recently when People magazine revealed that Shandling and long-time girlfriend Linda Doucett have broken up. No word yet on whether Doucett, who appears on Shandling’s “Larry Sanders Show” on HBO, will retain her job.

Then he discovered she didn’t go driving with Ted

Here’s our nomination for tasteless quote of the week. “Rose Kennedy died at the age of 104,” said “Politically Incorrect” host Bill Maher. “Oliver Stone said it was a conspiracy.”

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Dan Webster