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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

The Best Stories Are Rumored To Be True

Joe Murray Cox Newspaper Services

The best stories are true stories. Here’s a trio of yarns, all told for true. But one of them sounds suspicious to me. See what you think.

Steady at the wheel

A passing motorist came upon a car that had nose-dived into a ditch. The motor was still running and the rear wheels, several feet off the ground, were whirling.

When he came around to the driver’s side to investigate, he found the lone occupant with his foot planted on the gas and his hands gripping the steering wheel.

“You OK?” he asked him.

The occupant, still looking straight ahead, nodded.

“Jush uh minute,” he said, flicking on the turn signal. “Furst let me pull over. Zhen we can talk.”

All-star conversation

A couple of elderly sisters, though both were in their 90s, still visited regularly in each other’s home, which they shared with their grown children - one a son, the other a daughter.

Conversation between the sisters was limited at times, in that neither could hear well. But they always enjoyed seeing one another.

On this particular day, while their mothers chatted, the two cousins were watching an all-star football game.

“You played football in college,” the woman said. “How are guys from all those different teams able to play together after only a week or so of practice?”

“It’s not that difficult,” the man said.”The hard

part is not knowing who’s playing next to you.”

At that point the woman’s mother interrupted. “What’d he say?” she asked.

“He said the hardest part is not knowing who’s next to you,” the daughter replied, loudly.

The elderly lady shook her head. “The hardest part for me,” she said, “is trying all the time not to drool.”

A Texas give-and-take

One morning a fellow who lived out in the country couldn’t start his car, and when he raised the hood to check the motor, he discovered that the battery was missing. In its place was this anonymous note:

“I’m sorry but I had to take your battery. Mine quit on me in the middle of the night a mile or so down the road. It’s important that I be in Dallas early this morning for a business meeting. I’ll make it up to you on my way back.”

Sure enough, a few days later the fellow found a new battery at his front door and an envelope containing two tickets to an upcoming Dallas Cowboys football game. There was also another unsigned note:

“My business meeting was a big success. I owe it all to you. Here’s the best battery I could find, plus tickets on the 50-yard-line. Have a good time!”

Indeed, he and his wife did - until they returned home. While they were gone, everything in their house was stolen.The third story came to me third- or fourth-hand. I’d almost bet money that it’s an urban legend. The other two I can vouch for. They were told to me by people who were there. Besides, you can’t make up stories that good.

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