January 2, 1995 in Nation/World

Limo Driver, Piqued Prez Rate Among High Hucks

By The Spokesman-Review
 

A Happy Huckleberry Hound new year to you this fine Monday.

I’m off. You’re off.

So, let’s both relax with a batch of the best Huckleberries from the second half of

Pardon me, sir (July 25): CdA’s Chris Magnus was stopped at the 4th & Best light with son Mike and niece Chelsea when a white stretch limo pulled alongside. Of course, the kids excitedly motioned the chauffeur to roll down his window. He glanced at them stonefaced and then reached for something. You got it. The kids gave the chauffeur a thumbs-up when he held up a jar of Grey Poupon.

This link’s missing (July 25): A New Jersey couple once asked CdA’s Rich Lindsey of Summit Adventures: “At what elevation do the deer turn into elk?”

Ready, aim, fire (July 25): Guinness probably doesn’t have an entry for peeing up a wall. But, if it did, the champion probably would hail from the Silver Valley. Each year, Lead Creek Derby dignitaries whitewash the Mullan “Pissing Wall” for a private contest that occurs shortly after the summer event begins. Notables, primed with beer, jump aboard a railroad speeder car and race to the wall, west of Mullan. They unzip, present arms and fire away. A man, I suppose, always has won top honors.

Prosecutor needs dictionary (Aug. 1): At one point in the Patricia Gallagher trial, Boundary County Prosecutor Randy Day cornered witness Lenore Walker, the battered-women’s syndrome expert from Denver. Under cross-examination, he wrenched from her the admission that, yes, she was a FEMINIST. (Egads!) Then, he pressed on. “Isn’t it true,” intoned Day, “that you believe male battering of women perpetuates a patriotic society?” The defense witness was baffled. So, Randy dramatically handed Ms. Walker a copy of her book, “Terrifying Love,” and demanded she read her own words. After a pause, she responded: “Mr. Day, the word is patriarchal.”

Treed (Oct. 24): The 911 call fielded by the Post Falls Police Department didn’t sound that serious: Man up a tree without a ladder. Seems a Rathdrum area man had climbed a tree to save his stranded tabby and had gotten stranded himself. His frantic wife sent out an SOS. That started the scanner traffic. One emergency responder suggested someone put an open can of tuna under the tree to get the cat down. How about the man? asked another. Responded a third: “Maybe we could put a six-pack of beer under the tree and see what happens.”

Total strangers? (Oct. 31): Everything seemed on the up-and-up when Kootenai County Assessor Tom Moore cornered two Colorado transplants in the auto license bureau. You here to buy a license? asked Tom, pushing a pair of plates with the number K100000 on them into their hands. Why, yes I am, responded Mr. Colorado on cue. Photojournalists jumped out of the wallpaper, and everyone had a good time welcoming the new couple. You’d never know Mr. Colorado and Tom are former golfing buddies.

Chunkless in CdA (Nov. 28): North Idaho College President Bob Bennett takes his soup-sipping seriously. Seems he visited the student cafeteria recently with visions of chicken vegetable or a similar chunky soup dancing in his head. Alas, the soup on hand had been picked through and little more than broth remained. Bob exploded when the cook refused to provide more soup or chunks, sending a student helper home in tears. Bob later apologized for his outburst. But, if the new Campbell’s jingle is correct, he wasn’t entirely to blame for his behavior: “Never underestimate the power of soup.”

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