Dangerous Words Gossip Spreads Like Woldfire And Someone Usually Goes Up In Flames

You’re standing at your locker looking for your English book when on a hallway drift you hear your name whispered.

Instantly the hairs on your neck stand up. You turn around only to discover a group of your so-called friends staring at you. You know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the topic of their conversation concerns you.

Instinctively you think, “Is my zipper down? Is there something hanging out of my nose? Has my hair suddenly turned green?”

You later discover, thanks to the proverbial grapevine, that the entire school knows your deepest and darkest secret. The one nobody bothered to inform you about!

If this sounds familiar to you, it’s because gossip is an everyday occurrence in the average American junior high and high school. Gossip seems to be an epidemic universally - from small schools to big schools, public to private schools.

“It’s like a wildfire!” said Corrinne Vowels from Northwest Christian. “Once you’ve entered the circle of gossip, it’s nearly impossible to break free.”

Like any circle, the beginning is hard to identify and the end is virtually impossible to find.

Heidi Zornes, a counselor at Blair Elementary, observed that, “The students who gossip are usually the ones who are gossiped about.”

In other words, if you dish it out, you’d better be ready to take it too!

The American Heritage Dictionary defines gossip as “trivial talk often involving personal or sensational rumors.”

Yet to some who have experienced gossip to the extreme, it goes much deeper, perhaps enough to ruin their lives. Amy, a student from Douglas Junior High in California, had her life damaged by ruthless gossip. She was just a normal, average, sweet-natured girl with few enemies. In the middle of ninth grade, she had her first boyfriend.

After breaking up, he spread rumors that they had sex. Soon afterward, all the girls began calling her a slut and spread even more rumors about her. That sad part was none of it was true, yet her friends chose to believe the lies and forget their friendships.

Because of this incident, Amy’s social life was ruined, and she felt forced to leave the school.

Amy - like anyone who is the subject of vicious rumors - did not deserve the treatment she got. Most likely, it was a case of jealousy.

Zornes said jealously and gossip are common among middle school girls who are struggling to fit in. The reason: adolescents need attention and a feeling of belonging. If they don’t feel the security at home, they resort to harmful ways to bring the spotlight on themselves, rather than helping to build others up.

It was also pointed out that once a person has gossiped, even their own friends begin to distrust them. After all, if someone continually tells you lies or secrets about others, how do you know they won’t do the same to you?

Many people question whether gossip is more prominent in small schools. Although it happens in both big and small schools, it can have greater effect at a smaller school.

“There’s just no place to hide,” said one student. “You walk down the same hallway, have practically all the same classes, share the same bathroom - it’s everywhere you go!”

Smaller schools can be like a family, or like your worst nightmare. Everyone knows everyone and think they have the right to pry into their personal problems.

“Gossip is a pastime for people who have nothing better to do,” said one local teen.

But you’d think students could find something better to do to occupy their time. In a group of gossipers, it only takes one person to stand up for what’s right. If that person has enough courage, he or she can break the circle of gossip.

Those who desire a true friendship must realize the importance of honesty. Relationships are built on trust, and without it there is no foundation or stability. Without those elements, the friendship is destined to fall.

Is there really a cure for gossip, or are we doomed to live through it the rest of our lives? Part of our nature as humans is to be curious about the people around us. But that curiosity has to stop when it invades others’ privacy - especially when it is not even true.

We’ve all played the childhood game of “telephone,” when you start a rumor and laugh at how it’s embellished in the end. Life is not a game, and you won’t think it too funny when your altered life story is known around the entire school.

Perhaps the only cure is for us to exercise enough self-control to refuse to participate when we hear gossip taking place. If you won’t take a stand on something, you’ll fall for anything.