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Bring on Texas Tech!

Disenchanted Notre Dame fans like to come up with clever bumper stickers at the end of a football season. Last year there was the “Notre Dame 31, National Champions 24” sticker, referring to the Irish’s regularseason victory over Florida State. At 6-4-1 this season, Notre Dame took plenty of flak for accepting a Fiesta Bowl bid, then getting clobbered by Colorado.

Making it hard to top this season’s sticker: “Take the money and run, run, run - then punt!”

Time to build a penalty box

Craig Stadler, aka The Walrus, added to his list of scrapes with the rules when he was penalized two strokes Friday for being 90 seconds late to tee off at the Mercedes Championship.

“The decision sucks,” Stadler would say, claiming the starter never called his name. “I got the shaft.”

If Stadler felt like it, which he didn’t, he could have related how his latest brush compared to one at a 1987 tournament in San Diego. In that one, he was disqualified after being reported by a television viewer for improving his stance by kneeling on a towel for a shot.

“I’m not talking about the towel,” Stadler said. “The statute of limitations has run out on that one.”

If that was Towelgate, what happened Friday was simply Lategate. “Why does this stuff keep happening to me?” Stadler joked. “Why me? I’m going to change my name to Nancy Kerrigan.”

On his way to a 1-over 73 Saturday, Stadler briefly lost his cool. After hitting a weak pitch 40 feet short of the cup on 17, he buried his wedge in the muck, kicked at it and stamped toward the green.

In a timely manner, of course.

Better move that tractor

The T-shirts Missouri wore warming up before Saturday’s basketball game at Nebraska surprised Cornhuskers fans. Not only were the shirts Husker red, but they read “Congratulations Coach Osborne” across the front. The Tigers’ tribute to Nebraska’s national championship football team and coach Tom Osborne won them a standing ovation in Bob Devaney Sports Center, where Missouri went on to an 82-74 victory.

About 15,000 Nebraska fans had crowded into the same building after the Huskers beat Miami 24-17, and they heard the public address man say:

“Anybody who parked on the railroad tracks, the Lincoln police department wants you to move your car. The university would like you to report immediately for IQ testing.”

The last word …

“Playing with a discipline unimaginable in previous years, the Sooners are 10-2. Emerging star Ryan Minor claims he got more coaching in the first month from Sampson than in the two previous years from Billy Tubbs.”

- The Kansas City Star, on ex-Washington State basketball coach Kelvin Sampson, in its Big Eight preview

 
Tags: column, golf

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