Rockies Have Replacements Coming Out Of Woodwork

The Colorado Rockies, faced with the possibility of beginning the season with replacement players, have established a voicemail hotline for replacement candidates.

The Rockies have received nearly three dozen inquiries from ex-major leaguers, minor leaguers and college players, even some whose prime dates back 20 years, and some softball players.

“We’ve had some guys who claimed to be sandlot legends in Brooklyn,” said Paul Egins. “One guy said, ‘I’ve never really gotten a chance to play, but seeing is believing.’ We’ve also gotten calls from (several) fastpitch softball players.”

“Some of them have been in their 40s,” general manager Bob Gebhard said. “We’re getting a lot of guys who’ve decided that, after not playing for 20 years, this is the perfect chance.”

A 38-year-old businessman who hadn’t played since college wrote a two-page letter saying he would pay the Rockies for a chance to play.