The Hot Seat Our Weekly Look At Who’s In Trouble

He’s a Democrat. No, he’s a Republican. No, he’s on The Hot Seat.

Steve Hasson is the Republicans’ problem now. He came out of the closet and rubbed noses with Richard Clear on talk radio when he should have been meeting with a consultant analyzing the county sewer program. Democratic champagne corks popped at the news like banned assault rifles. And at The Hot Seat, we’re busy developing a Medic Alert necklace for Hasson: “Help. I’ve fallen on The Hot Seat and I can’t get off.”

Speaker Newt Ging-soon-to-be-Rich

In 1989, Newt Gingrich hounded House Speaker Jim Wright over a book deal that netted Wright $54,642. Eventually, Wright left office. Now, Speaker Gingrich is caught red-handed in a $4.5 million book deal with media baron Rupert Murdoch. The baron has billions bet on a bill now before Congress. Bob Dole and his flock got hacked off at Newt and forced him to change the terms. Now, we learn that Gingrich played footsies with Murdoch and one of his lobbyists before signing the deal. It’s a stinker. The Republicans tried to stop the bleeding by striking any criticism of Gingrich’s deal from the Congressional Record, but it’s too late. Tough noogies, Newt. What goes around, comes around.

We love Republicans

Last time Slade Gorton appeared in this space, we roasted him. But the kinder, gentler Hot Seat editors would hate to be predictable. So pucker up, Slade. You’re living proof that Republicans do good, once in a while. Some multicultural ninnies in academia tried to evict dead white males like George Washington and Ben Franklin from a model history curriculum for the nation’s public schools. But our man Gorton sponsored a resolution repudiating the scheme and the Senate backed him, 99-1. MMMMwah! Now, go forth and cut those budgets, big boy. Make the multiculturalists go find a real job.

MEMO: The Hot Seat is a feature of the Sunday Opinion page.