‘The Brain’ Has Sonics On A Roll George Karl Uses All The Right Lines As Seattle Rides 9-Game Win Streak
He’s got it all. The hottest team in the NBA. A million-dollar contract. A radio show. And now, his own 900 telephone line. If you can’t find him on talk radio, you can find Seattle Sonics coach George Karl on the telephone.
Just call The George Karl Scouting Report. Imagine if we could eavesdrop on it.
Hi, you’ve reached 1-900-TEL-KARL. This is The Brain. I’m unable to come to the phone right now because I’m busy doing all the things a brain does.
I’m sending impulses to all parts of the body. Telling it when to cough and itch and complain about the media. It is a full-time job being a brain, not to mention coaching the Seattle Sonics and, of course, answering your calls.
Just like Barry Ackerley, you’re paying top dollar - $2.95 per minute - for my expertise. Don’t be shy.
Please leave a message at the beep. Tell me what I’m doing right, or what I’m doing wrong. I may be The Brain, but even a brain makes mistakes. Remember, I once drafted Chris Washburn.
Should I activate Steve Scheffler? Should I start Vinnie Askew? Should I talk to Kendall Gill?
Leave your message and I’ll get back to you.
Remember, The Brain never sleeps.
BEEP!
Brain? This is Arn Tellem. Remember me? Kendall Gill’s agent? You don’t return my calls anymore, and I was wonder …
BEEP!
Coach Karl, this is your old college coach, Dean Smith. As you know, we’re rated No. 3. I’ve won a couple of national championships. Dick Vitale calls me Michelangelo, but I think I’d rather be called The Brain. Can we maybe share that brain thing? Maybe you could be the medulla and I could be the cerebellum. I’ll see you in Seattle in April.
BEEP!
Hi! What are you wearing right now? I’m wearing. … Hello? This isn’t Trixie? Oh, no, I didn’t dial the wrong 900 number again, did I?
BEEP!
Brain? Arn Tellem again. As you know, I’ve demanded you trade Kendall and yet you’ve made …
BEEP!
Coach Karl? This is Scottie Pippen. I’ve got to get out of Chicago. This Jerry Krause guy is driving me nuts. And our team? I mean how would you like to play 82 games with Will Perdue? If I come to Seattle, I’ll even promise never to refuse to go into the game. Call me. Call Krause. Get me out of here.
BEEP!
Coach? Shawn Kemp here. I heard Scottie Pippen’s been calling you about a trade. Hey, you think I want to play with Will Perdue? Please, don’t talk to Scottie. Pretend he’s Kendall. Leave it alone.
BEEP!
Brain? This is Bill Walsh. If you’re The Brain, who am I?
BEEP!
Brain? This is Bob Whitsitt. Remember me? I used to be the brain behind The Brain before Barry Ackerley drove me out of Seattle and down here to Portland. Tellem tells me Kendall doesn’t want to play for you any more. Says he wants a trade. We’ve got this guy Clyde Drexler. Let’s talk.
BEEP!
Arn Tellem again, Brain. Did Bob Whitsitt call you? We just thought maybe Kendall and Drexler could …
BEEP!
Gary Payton, Coach. I know what time it is. You know I know what time it is. You know I’m better than all those smack-talkin’ point guards in front of me in the All-Star voting. I know what time it is. I’m fly. Word.
BEEP!
Wally Walker here, Brain. As team president, I was just sitting here thinking. We’ve won nine in a row. And we’re not just winning games, we’re blowing teams out. Let’s leave well enough alone. Hold our breaths and keep this roll into June. What do you say? I’m home. You’ve got the number.
BEEP!
Hi, Brain. This is Arn Tell …
BEEP!