Barely scraping by in the NFL
San Francisco linebacker Ken Norton Jr. kept a straight face (chin not included) when he explained his selfless motives for leaving Dallas to take a higher-paying job with the Niners: “You have to look at 15 years down the line, when your kid grows up and is ready to go to college and he asks me, ‘Dad, how come you can’t afford to put me through college?’ And I say, ‘Well, son, I stayed with the Cowboys.”’
And he says, ‘Well, Dad, you’re full of it.”’
Tom-foolery: Write that down, but don’t ask
After beating Oklahoma 87-77 last Wednesday, Kansas State coach Tom Asbury was mysteriously low-key when it came to former Sooners coach Billy Tubbs. A couple days before, Asbury called Tubbs a “jerk” and an “idiot,” among other things.
Asked about his comments following the victory over new Oklahoma coach Kelvin Sampson and the Sooners, Asbury turned his back on the reporter and wouldn’t talk.
Asbury had been complimentary about Sampson, who replaced Tubbs after leading Washington State to the NCAA Tournament. “Kelvin is a disciplinarian and a very fine coach. He gets his kids playing very, very hard,” Asbury gushed.
On Tubbs, Asbury had said: “He’s probably way overrated as a coach. Other than that, he’s a terrific human being. You won’t hear me say that about another coach, before or ever after. But write that down.”
Just don’t ask him about it.
Nice pass - I mean shot
Eastern Washington shot well in the first half of last Thursday’s men’s basketball loss at Northern Arizona, making 11 of 22 field goals. When the Eagles missed, however, they REALLY missed, as Larry Weir would attest. At halftime, the EWU radio announcer pointed out how the Eagles had already amassed 15 turnovers, then tempered that figure with this observation, delivered in complete seriousness: “A couple of those turnovers could’ve been considered shots, but they were not.”
The Can overfloweth
Former Boston Red Sox pitcher Dennis “Oil Can” Boyd, who has spent recent seasons toiling in the minors, says he’ll have no problem crossing the picket line to become a replacement player.
“If anybody calls The Can a scab, I’ll kick their (butt),” Boyd roared. “They can’t call me that. Ain’t no kid nowhere paid the dues that I paid to play in the big leagues.
“They better know whose toes they are stepping on because Dennis Boyd ain’t letting nobody step on his toes. There’s nobody that can tell me what to do. I have to do this for The Can and nobody else.”
The last word . . .
“When I set the record, I knew John would break it one day. I’m happy for him and his family. It couldn’t happen to a better person. He’s a guy I respect a lot. He’s by far the best floor leader there is.”
- Magic Johnson, whose all-time NBA assists record is about to be broken by John Stockton