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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Cheap Seats

Snap, crackle, pop

Baltimore’s Chris Hoiles is having a tough year, struggling to hit .200. One recent sequence was painfully symbolic.

“This is my year, in a nutshell,” lamented Hoiles. “I foul a pitch off and it hurts the other catcher. Then I look up and their pitcher is hurt, and he walks off. Then they bring in this big, hard-throwing right-hander, and I’m down in the count, 0-1.”

Hoiles would ultimately fly out, but not before Brewers pitcher Angel Miranda suffered torn knee cartilage delivering the pitch, which Hoiles foul-tipped off the protective cup of catcher Joe Oliver. While Oliver lay dazed, Miranda limped off the mound.

Beanball counters

The A’s, and especially manager Tony La Russa, are still furious over the David Cone fastball that drilled Mark McGwire on the helmet, keeping the All-Star first baseman out of the lineup.

La Russa vehemently rejected Cone’s pledge that it was unintentional.

“I think he’s covering his butt right now,” La Russa contended. “As I told him on the field, I think he did it intentionally. … He does have a reputation for taking a cheap shot. And that’s what it was.”

The Blue Jays sniped back, most notably Joe Carter.

“Here’s a guy who’s a big humanitarian, animal activist and everything, and now his job is retaliation,” Carter said. “For him to say that we were throwing at McGwire because he hit a home run the day before … that’s stupid. It’s stupid for a guy who has as many degrees as he’s got. For him to come back and say something like that, he’s gutless.”

Could you be a little more blunt?

Boston fans are running out of patience with Dominique Wilkins, the over-the-hill gunner demanding the Celtics come through with a big-money loan.

“Hellooooooo! Earth to Dominique Wilkins! Earth to (agent) Steve Kauffman!” Bob Ryan roared in the Boston Globe. “If you guys need a ride to the airport, there are 2 or 3 million volunteers in the Greater Boston area who would gladly forfeit a day’s pay in order to escort you out of town. Dominique, baby, I think you’d look great in a Quad City Thunder unie.”

Enough to make a hacker cry

Byron Nelson, 83, shot a 77 last week in 101-degree heat at the Cottonwood Valley club in Irving, Texas.

And to think we’d have been impressed had he shot a 101 in 83-degree heat at Pine Acres.

There’s not a snowball’s chance in Shea

Shea Stadium was rejected as a New York site for Pope John Paul II’s celebration of Mass during his October visit because of the “potential of a conflict with the baseball playoffs.”

Asked if he thinks the last-place Mets might pull off a miracle and make the playoffs, diocesan spokesman Frank DeRosa said, “We could always pray.”

The last word …

“Did you hear the news? Baseball owners and players are going to start negotiating again, maybe around the end of the month. Well, kiss my resin bag. What have these guys been doing since April? What have they been doing since last Aug. 12?” - Terry Pluto, Akron (Ohio) Beacon Journal

, DataTimes