Cheap Seats
Mal practice
It’s safe to say Mal Fichman, manager of the Johnstown (Pa.) Steal baseball team of the independent Frontier League, was hot under the collar. Fichman set fire to his undershirt in protest after a recent loss because his players had elected to ditch their usual teal undershirts for black ones - the same color skivvies his ‘93 team wore during a miserable season.
An enraged Fichman lit the undershirt as the team trainer stood nearby with 30 gallons of water and a fire extinguisher. Trouble is, someone called 911. When a fire crew arrived and found the smoldering shirt near the dugout, Fichman was charged with disorderly conduct and violating Johnstown’s ban on open fires.
“I understand I’m not supposed to do something like that,” Fichman said. “But there’s no way if you burn a T-shirt that 911 needed to be called.”
Who you gonna call, Mal? Your bullpen?
Something smelled fishy
Radio station WQAM, the flagship station of the Florida Marlins, drew the wrath of the Dodgers and public relations director Jay Lucas by pretending to be interviewing Los Angeles pitcher Hideo Nomo.
The impostor ridiculed Marlins fans, saying they were stupid, didn’t know the difference between sushi and a forkball, and that all-star outfielder Jeff Conine had no clue against him.
The trouble was, no one announced it was a spoof and the Marlins’ offices were flooded with calls. Disc jockey Andrew Ashwood said no such announcement was necessary because he introduced the impostor simply as “Nomo” and not Hideo Nomo.
Oh, one of the other famous Nomos in the majors.
It’s the Political Arena
What’s in a name? A million bucks, if you’re talking about the arena at the Meadowlands. That’s how much Gov. Christie Whitman says can be raised each year by renaming it for a corporate sponsor - and removing former Gov. Brendan Byrne’s name.
The renaming is one component to Whitman’s attempt to keep the New Jersey Devils from moving. Sen. Richard Codey, D-Essex, charged that renaming the arena for a corporate sponsor would be “crass commercialism” by Republicans and an insult to a former Democratic governor. Codey wondered if the governor would sell rights of other institutions.
“Will the (Governor) Hughes Justice Complex be converted to the ‘Jacoby and Meyers Legal Center’?” he asked. “Or, does the (Governor) Kean Aquarium get converted to the ‘Chicken of the Sea Aquarium?’ Now the Republicans are showing their true colors by trying to sell out to the almighty dollar.”
Like Codey couldn’t be accused of selling out to the almighty dollar - by accepting a corporate campaign contribution, perhaps?
Sorry I asked
Paul Wagner, who struggled with his pitching before going on the disabled list with a strained groin, walked past Jim Leyland in the Pittsburgh dugout at Three Rivers Stadium before a game the other day.
“I’ve got you scheduled to start the 21st,” the Pirates manager said. “Your arm OK?” “It needs work,” Wagner replied.
“It needs work?” Leyland repeated with mock outrage. “I know it needs work. You’re 1 and 10. Obviously, it needs work.”
The last word …
“I feel kids can find somebody better to look up to than me.”
- Mike Tyson, ex-heavyweight champ and ex-con
, DataTimes