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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Cheap Seats

Carl Spackler, greens superintendent The Pine Valley golf course in New Jersey is considered one of the top layouts in the United States, but it has one unusual quirk: sand traps are never raked.

Does that make our front yard a top course, too?

Is this the party to whom I am speaking?

During the Mariners’ recent visit to Baltimore’s Camden Yards, Orioles pitching coach Mike Flanagan picked up the dugout telephone to call his bullpen with orders to warm up two relief pitchers.

But he misdialed - and wound up ringing the Seattle dugout, where the phone was answered by none other than M’s manager Lou Piniella.

“Get a couple of relievers up right away,” Flanagan demanded.

“Right now?” Piniella wondered.

“Yeah, right now.”

“What if I don’t feel like getting them up right now?” teased Piniella.

At that point, Flanagan started to catch on and asked who was on the line.

“I said you’ve got the skipper in the other dugout,” Piniella recalled. “He laughed and hung up.”

Next innovation at Camden Yards: caller I.D.

No more brown socks with black cleats

Rest easy. The NFL’s fashion police plan to get tough on players who don’t stick to the dress code. This calls to mind two run-ins the Raiders had with former NFL commissioner Pete Rozelle over their duds. Once he threatened receivers Fred Biletnikoff and Mike Siani with fines for failing to pull up their socks. The Raiders claimed the two had skin conditions that were alleviated by leaving that area uncovered.

“Fine,” Rozelle wrote back, “but let’s hope they never get jock itch.”

Another time, tight end Dave Casper was fined $250 for failing to tuck in his shirt against the Steelers. Casper sent the league office a check for $62.50 along with a note saying the rest of the fine should be assessed against the three Steelers’ linebackers, since they were the ones who kept pulling out his shirt.

Martinezday

It was two Saturdays ago that Expos pitcher Pedro Martinez fired nine perfect innings. On the same day, Cleveland’s Dennis Martinez pitched a shutout and Dave Martinez of the White Sox clubbed a game-winning, ninth-inning grand slam homer.

So some Toronto newspapermen asked TV analyst Buck Martinez if maybe he had won the lottery.

“I got the sprinkler system at home to stop leaking, so that was pretty good,” he said.

Saboday

Meanwhile, on the same day last week that the White Sox released third baseman Chris Sabo, former Reds front-office worker Tim Sabo had his wrongful-firing suit against owner Marge Schott dismissed. No word on what kind of day ex-Phillies replacement player Steve Sabo had.

The last word …

“Maybe they should erect a statue of all of us outside the arena. If we hadn’t lost all those games in the early years, they wouldn’t have done so well in the draft.”

- Former Orlando Magic center Greg Kite

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo