Helmsley To Her Help: Let Them Lick Stamps

This being a newspaper, let’s turn to other unpleasant news. Namely, Leona Helmsley.

When last heard from, the 74-year-old grinch of New York realty, convicted of income-tax evasion, had been completing her court-ordered 250 hours of community service (she’s already served slightly less than half of her four-year prison sentence).

But now comes word that Helmsley, a true believer in the trickle-down theory of economics, had farmed out her community service projects to various employees.

So, one such employee told the New York Daily News, there the Helmsley hirelings were, laboring “like field hands shucking peas” to wrap gifts for hospital patients and stuff envelopes for a charity drive.

Helmsley, not surprisingly, had no comment.

Marisa Tomei on playing a woman five years older than herself in “My Cousin Vinnie” (in Paper magazine): “That was, like, daunting to me. Like, what does a woman do?”

He’s going to celebrate, we hear, in earnest

Jim Varney turns 46 today.

Make sure the guitarist strokes that G-string

The quote: “She’ll sing and strip, though I don’t want to say how much.” The speaker: A spokeswoman for the Matunuck, R.I., Theater by the Sea. The significance: She was referring to the show, beginning June 23, that features presidential accuser and would-be actress Gennifer Flowers.

Bein’ a author is like a box of chocolates, too

Good news for “Forrest Gump” fans: “Gump” author Winston Groom has finished his sequel to the book that inspired the Oscar-winning movie. Pocket Books will print 600,000 copies of “Gump & Co.,” which features the title character and his son, by late August. One report has movie rights going for $1 million.

Question is, have his fans continued to stand by him?

One of the teen talents from the ‘80s, Corey Feldman (“Stand By Me”), is on the comeback trail. Feldman, who short-circuited his career with a series of well-publicized drug busts, has signed to play a computer whiz in a forthcoming CBS sitcom called “Dweebs.” He’ll also be featured in an upcoming “Tales of the Crypt” movie.

We assume, however, that she won’t drive herself home

Political consultant/commentators Mary Matalin and James Carville expect their first child somewhere around July 19. And what is the first thing that Matalin plans to do post-delivery? “When I leave the hospital, the first thing I’ll do is have a martini and cigarette in the parking lot.”

And there’s nothing worse than a public nuisance

Speaking of smoking, chain-smoker Fran Leibowitz told Conan O’Brien what her reaction was to New York’s new anti-smoking law. “I try to avoid public places,” she said. “They’re filled with the public.”

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Two Photos

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Dan Webster