Woman Finds Resolution Humor In Turning 50

Years ago, Wendy Reid Crisp started keeping a list of the things she vowed she wouldn’t do as she aged. On the eve of her 50th birthday, she pulled the list out of her files and turned the resolutions into “100 Things I’m Not Going to Do Now That I’m Over 50” (Perigee, $14), a tiny new book that’s bursting with wit and wisdom.

“Everything in the book is true,” says Crisp, national director of the National Association for Executive Females. “It may be humorous, but it’s not a joke. It’s based on my own experiences.”

For Crisp, turning 50 proved liberating.

“I don’t feel I have to modify anything in my life to suit other peoples’ ideas,” she says. “I feel ornery. I’m going to fight for what I believe in, and the heck with the rest of the world.”

Among the things Crisp has proclaimed she won’t do:

Attend reunions. “The last time my high school class gathered - for our 31st reunion - we agreed that we had seen everyone we ever wanted to see as many times as we ever wanted to see them.”

Diet. “Low-sodium, lowcalorie, low-cholesterol, low-fat, vegetarian, vegan, macrobiotic, high-fiber - who cares? It’s all mind over body, and my mind is heartily encouraged by a breakfast of spice gumdrops.”

Neglect friends. “We have learned a painful lesson at least once: How were we to know that conversation, that letter, that summer visit would be our last?”

Have a joint checking account. “No woman over 50 should have to explain why she paid $36 for a shower curtain, nor should she be asking anyone else such questions.”