Learning To Make The Right Decisions Takes Time

I have been on public assistance since I was 16. I went on it because I got pregnant. My home life was not stable and I pretty much lived with anyone I could trust. I dropped out of school in the ninth grade.

I had a baby boy and my first two years on assistance, I got my high school equivalency degree. I then tried to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I was signed up for business school, but my friends and some relatives talked me out of it. They said it would be too much stress.

Also, I knew it was important for my son and I to have a good relationship from the ground up. I wanted to stay home with my son, so I didn’t go to business school.

One day I heard about Project Self-Sufficiency at the Community Colleges. It’s a program for low-income mothers and helps them make the transition from public assistance to employment. I’ve learned a lot in the program. I’ve learned that a lot of the emotions I deal with are really other people’s emotions. I always thought I was wrong. I’m learning how to communicate, how to be an adult. I’m learning that if you mess up, it can affect your kid.

I’m picking up study and work skills and learning how to set goals and stick to them. I hope to go to college. But to do this, I will need to stay on public assistance a few more years.

If I were cut off now, I’d have to go live in a shelter or something. Or maybe do something illegal to survive. Or take two low-paying jobs to support my son and then who would take care of him?

That’s why I worry when I read reports of welfare benefits being cut drastically. Legislators should remember that it takes time to really figure out what you want to do in life. They need to remember that some of us have a lot to deal with from our childhoods.

I’m eager to get out and work, but it will take time. I want to make the right decision so I never have to go back on welfare. I can understand being hard on someone who is on welfare and not doing anything to try to better themselves.

But those of us who are trying, need support. Please give us some.

MEMO: Your Turn is a feature of the Wednesday and Saturday Opinion page. To submit a column for consideration, call Rebecca Nappi/459-5496, or Doug Floyd/459-5466.