Movie Rides What’s In The Future For Motion Pictures Being Turned Into Amusement Park Attractions?
Turning a major motion picture into a theme-park ride is all the rage these days.
More and more of us apparently want to plunk down $30 to spend two hours in line for two minutes at an attraction based on something we spent $7 to watch in the first place.
Magic Mountain, for example, has the “Batman” roller coaster. Riders are suspended on a track above their heads so, unlike the “Batman” films, they don’t know what twists and turns are coming next.
Universal covers for its weak studio tour with a good tribute to a good movie (“Back to the Future”), a good tribute to a lame movie (“Backdraft”) and a lame tribute to a good movie (“E.T. - The Extra-Terrestrial,” whose ride would be better titled “It’s a Small Plastic Alien World, After All.”)
The latest of these movie theme-park rides comes from the folks at Disney, who invented the genre 40 years ago. “The Indiana Jones Adventure” opened at Disneyland this week.
If “Jones” is anything like the much-hyped “preview” Disney staged earlier this year with Tony Bennett and Patti LaBelle at halftime of the Super Bowl, it’s going to be one terrifying ride.
Perhaps you’re wondering what the movie rides of tomorrow will be. Among those up for consideration are:
The Forrest Gump Ride - Passengers float through the 20th century on a giant feather, bumping into famous people and setting events in motion. Each trip is different, so you never know what you’ll get.
Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure - Same as above, but passengers travel in a phone booth through all of history.
It’s a Waterworld, After All - Based on “Waterworld,” the overbudget adventure film due out this summer, riders assume the role of actor-writer-producer Kevin Costner. Like the “Wyatt Earp” ride and “The War” ride, the whole thing blows up in their faces.
Driving Miss Daisy - Cranky old lady barks out instructions as you try to drive her to the store.
Naked Gun: The Legal Sequel - Anyone who wants to help prove Nordberg was framed is given $650 an hour.
The Twelve Angry Men Adventure - A dozen visitors get locked in a hot, humid and cramped room and given a question to debate (such as “What has Pauly Shore ever done that was funny?” or “Why is Zsa Zsa Gabor famous?”). No one gets to leave until there’s a unanimous verdict.
The Rocky Ride - You get the hell beaten out of you by a park employee dressed as a boxer, but you’re declared the winner so you can come back for more.
Speed - To keep your bus from exploding, you must crash it into things.
The Poseidon Adventure - A water ride in which your boat turns upside down and you have to jettison Shelley Winters to get to the surface.
The Pulp Fiction Ride - Visitors enter the attraction in the middle, go to the beginning, then the end and exit somewhere near where they started.
The Pretty Woman Adventure - Guests drive down Hollywood Boulevard to rent a “spouse.”
Mr. Chase’s Wild Ride - It’s a roller coaster based on the career of Chevy Chase. You go 60 feet above the ground early on, but a free fall takes you so deep underground you have to wait 48 hours before re-entering the park or risk a serious case of the bends.
Oliver Stone’s Natural Born Overkillers - Visitors are strapped in and treated to loud rock music and an audio-animatronic version of the movie director who hits them over the head repeatedly.