Give Him Thumbs Down Forget The Oscar Picks, Siskel And Ebert Dish The Dirt On Each Other

They always give us their opinions on current movies, and by the time the Oscar ceremony rolls around March 27, we’ll have heard their predictions half a dozen times.

So we decided to pursue different tangents during separate phone conversations with movie critics Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel.

In the spirit of fun, we encouraged them to dish a little dirt and field some irreverent questions. We threw in a few prosaic ones to keep the peace.

For the most part, they played along - Siskel with more snark than Ebert.

Ebert balked at a double query about whether he’d rather have “Forrest Gump” or “Nell” over to dinner and if he’d use his good china; Siskel balked at casting an O.J. Simpson trial movie.

Below is an edited transcript.

Q: What one overused adjective would you like to ban from your partner’s reviews? Roger Ebert: Fresh.

Gene Siskel: Well, I’ll tell you a phrase he used that annoyed me. Check the ads for “Hoop Dreams” - he said it was one of the most exciting moviegoing experiences in his lifetime, rather than the word life. Do you understand the distinction? Do you understand the grandiosity and the megalomania in the use of the word lifetime? He thinks the world revolves around him. He’s an only child who only has one person in his life to tell him he’s wrong - i.e., me.

Q: Name one star whose work your partner consistently praises when there’s not sufficient reason? Roger Ebert: I don’t think he praises any star who doesn’t deserve it. He will tell you mine is Robert Mitchum.

Gene Siskel: He likes everything, lately, that Whoopi Goldberg has done. He liked (her) in “Made in America.”

I think there are people he’s afraid to knock when they misstep - a lot of people. Sometimes I wonder if he wants to be liked by them, which is death for a critic. Obviously, these people do not like us. My rule of thumb on that is: They never call when I get sick, but somehow manage to find me before the release of every single one of their movies.

Q: How often do TV watchers whom you meet on the street mistakenly call you by your partner’s name? Roger Ebert: People frequently call me Siskel, but he claims no one ever calls him Ebert. I’m honest enough to admit that people make mistakes, whereas his ego is so large it won’t allow him to believe anyone would ever mistake him for me.

Gene Siskel: Never.

Q: Give readers who get confused about who’s who a shortcut to telling you two apart.

Roger Ebert: I’m the one with the Pulitzer Prize. (Won in 1975).

Gene Siskel: Readers obviously would agree with my critiques (more) consistently.

Q: Does your partner always bring his theater trash to the receptacles? Roger Ebert: He always polices his area.

Gene Siskel: No. A lot of things about Roger are explained by what he leaves behind - a lot of containers, empty containers.

Q: If your partner hadn’t made it as a movie critic, what do you imagine he’d be doing today? Roger Ebert: He would be a lawyer - a defense attorney. That’s what he says.

Gene Siskel: What is it that Roosevelt Grier does? Does he do needlepoint? Needlepoint.

Q: If you were casting a movie biography of your partner, whom would you pick to play him? Roger Ebert: Ed Lauter (a modestly known actor who has appeared in “Cujo,” “The Rocketeer” and “King Kong,” among other movies).

Gene Siskel: Charles Laughton (who played Quasimodo in “The Hunchback of Notre Dame”).

Q: What’s the most annoying thing your partner does or has done to you? Roger Ebert: He won’t let me talk about my books when we do TV shows.

Gene Siskel: The most annoying thing he does is have a need to think he is better than me in every facet of our lives. And if there is a facet in which he really can’t hold that opinion, then he automatically devalues that category of behavior, intelligence or whatever.

(On a talk show) he was asked, “What’s a quality of Gene you admire?” He said, “Gene is the most informed person about all kinds of things - whenever I try to tell him some news, he already knows it.” Then he said, “Of course, most of it’s worthless.”

Q: What’s the kindest thing your partner does or has done for you? Roger Ebert: That would be personal. It’s not that he doesn’t do kind things; I just don’t have anything I’d want to share.

Gene Siskel: With all the arguments that we get into - and we get into some beauties that people would never believe if they saw - I always know that in a crunch, he would be there if I said, “I need this.”

If it has (happened), I wouldn’t get into it with you. But more important than any specific is that knowledge. I hope he knows I would do it as well.

This has been a life-defining partnership. We probably don’t always treat it with as much respect as we should. We’re too rough with each other. That’s part of our newspaper legacy. We were furious competitors for years. It’s tough to shake that.

Q: In hell, what movie do they show over and over again and what’s the only available snack at the concession stand? Roger Ebert: “North” and red licorice ropes.

Gene Siskel: “Cannonball Run II” and Sugar Babies.

Q: In heaven, what movie do they show over and over again and what snack is free of both calories and charge? Roger Ebert: “Citizen Kane” and vanilla Haagen-Dazs ice cream.

Gene Siskel: “Dr. Strangelove,” “Saturday Night Fever” and “Do The Right Thing.” And you can eat cheese corn and caramel corn mixed together.

Q: Other than the slight of “Hoop Dreams,” what sin of omission really upset you when Oscar nominations were announced? Roger Ebert: I felt that there was certainly room (in the Best Actress category) for Jennifer Jason Leigh in “Mrs. Parker.”

Gene Siskel: Tim Robbins (not nominated for Best Actor in “The Shawshank Redemption”) was just as good as Morgan Freeman (nominated).

Q: What one Oscar-night upset would bring the biggest smile to your face? Roger Ebert: If Morgan Freeman won for Best Actor.

Gene Siskel: “Hoop Dreams” winning for Best Editing.

Q: What one summer blockbuster wannabe are you most curious to see? Roger Ebert: “Waterworld,” because of the premise and the scale of the production.

Gene Siskel: “Apollo 13,” because of the subject matter.