May 4, 1995 in Features

The Slice Single People Think They’re The Only Ones

By The Spokesman-Review
 

A fiftysomething guy having lunch at Peking North was frowning.

He was hearing about a younger fellow who apparently had complained about being single in Spokane. And the fiftysomething guy had one question: “There aren’t any women in Spokane?”

Aim high: Today is the National Day of Prayer.

For the birds: Spokane’s Vicki Barnes has been bombed by gulls so many times she has lost count. “I’m one of those people who walk around with a target on my head,” she said.

“Aladdin” on the South Hill: A friend encountered a grocery checkout clerk named Jaffar who said he has a daughter named Jasmine.

A colleague overheard this at a yard sale: “Oh yeah, that stuff belonged to my ex-husband. How much do you think it’s worth?”

Everyday saints: Include florists who take time and care in dealing with long-distance orders involving flowers for relatives in a hospital.

No-wimps barbecuing: Scott Hoagland once bought a government-issued gas mask at a yard sale, for $4. He got to use it not long afterward, when he was outdoors grilling steaks and the smoke and fumes made breathing all but impossible. “The mask really worked,” he said.

Mothers have the answers: A preschool boy was in the downtown Niko’s restaurant watching outdoor construction activity through a window. He asked: “Why are people always building things?” Mom knew. “Because things change, needs change and buildings get old,” she said.

Warm-up questions: Do people still invite friends and neighbors over to look at slides? Why do people believe baseball caps prevent attitudinal aging?

Today’s Slice question: If everyone had to go through customs when crossing the Washington-Idaho state line, what questions would the border guards ask?

MEMO: The Slice appears Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098.

The Slice appears Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098.


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