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Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Old Fashioned Extremes Have Strong Results

John Rosemond Charlotte Observer

As some of my readers know, I’m in the process of collecting material for an upcoming book on parents who have successfully dealt with a “challenge” handed them by a teen. I’m looking for unique, creative, reallife solutions to the full range of crises (drug use, drinking, etc.) that taint American adolescence. A parent in southern California recently shared an anecdote which proves that old-fashioned solutions are still, in many cases, the best.

The child in question - I’ll call him “Jimmy” - wanted a car for his 16th birthday. “We’ll buy you a used car when you’re 16,” his parents told him, “but only if you’re carrying no less than a solid ‘B’ average. If not, you’ll have to wait until your grades come up.”

Jimmy’s birthday came and his grades were good, so his parents bought him a ‘82 Buick with the understanding that he had to get a job and pay two-thirds of his share of the insurance premium.

His parents also told him that if he was ticketed for a moving violation, the car would be sold and he would go back to riding the bus to school and have use of one of their cars only to go to and from work and on weekend nights until 10. If so, they would consider buying him another used car when he graduated from high school, but only if he graduated with a ‘B’ average and was going on to college.

Jimmy said he understood and had no problem with his parents terms, but they doubt he truly took them seriously. “Although we’d never failed to back up our words with action,” they write, “we’re sure he thought we were just blowing a lot of hot air to try and keep him in line.”

Jimmy got a job and began paying his share of the insurance premium. Six months later, he was ticketed for speeding and running a stop sign. He swore up and down that he had been given a bum rap. His parents told him that if he was innocent, he should hire a lawyer. If the lawyer successfully defended him, he could keep his car. Jimmy went to several lawyers who all said they could probably get the charges reduced, but not dropped.

At this point, he decided to throw himself upon his parents’ mercy. He pleaded for a second chance. He said he would find a way to pay his entire insurance bill. He swore he had learned his lesson.

“Oh, please, please, please,” he said, almost dropping to his knees, “don’t subject me to the humiliation of riding the bus.”

His parents held firm, sold his car and subjected him to the humiliation of riding the bus. Most days, in fact, Jimmy was able to bum a ride off a friend, but there were times when he had no option other than the bus.

At this point, he played his final card, telling his parents that taking away his car had made him “depressed” and his grades were probably going to suffer as a result.

“Oh, that’s all right,” they said. “It’s your life. If you want a car when you graduate, you’ll snap out of your depression soon enough. If not, then maybe the military can un-depress you after high school.”

My gosh! That sounds like parents from another era talking, doesn’t it? To think any parents today would actually have the gumption to do such a thing is rather amazing, isn’t it? Or is refreshing the more appropriate term?

In any case, all this happened in 1990. Today, Jimmy is in his third year of college, intent upon a career in law. He wrote a brief addendum to his parents’ letter. It reads: “I want you to know that as a result of what my parents did concerning the car, I have more respect for them today than I would have if they had relented.”

See? This old-fashioned stuff really works! You oughta try it.