May 9, 1995 in Features

The Slice Give That Pet A Little Surgery To Celebrate Special Week

By The Spokesman-Review
 

It’s “Be Kind to Animals Week.”

You don’t need us to tell you how to celebrate. But delivering the spay/ neuter speech to pet owners who need to hear it is always a good idea.

Thanks: To the readers who sent in photos of co-workers with winning smiles. Talk about great mail.

Public service reminder: You’re not supposed to laugh when you read the Hoopfest Sportsmanship Pledge.

Best thing found at a yard sale: “My wife of 32 years.” - Al Kreitz

Can’t prove it: But we estimate that 50 percent of baby boomers’ prom stories are, um, embellished.

Friendly advice: In observance of Secretaries Day, Loon Lake second-grader Kelly Phillips gave the following note to a member of the staff at her school: “Dear Barb: You think you’ve got problems? Well, I have more, trust me. But you’ve helped solve them. Now I can solve yours. Here are some ideas. 1.) Have a POGs tradeing post. 2.) Get chewable pills. 3.) Carry a smile. 4.) Put pizza on the menu more often. 5.) Sell copys of computer games. 6.) Hire joyful people. 7.) In the lost and found, only take it if it’s yours. 8.) Give ideas. - Your friend, Kelly”

Against the odds: Bloomsday veteran Max Berde, 9, was assigned the same registration number two years in a row.

In lieu of ipecac: A liqueur-maker did a survey of ski-resort pickup lines. And here are a few that some insane PR person apparently liked: “If I were in charge of the alphabet, I would put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together.”

“The sky is gray because of all the blue in your eyes.”

“You’re so sweet, just looking at you gives me a cavity.”

“What part of heaven are you from?”

“All those curves and me with no brakes.”

Steve Johnston wonders: What were the top 10 Bloomsday finishing times for heavy smokers?

Warm-up question No. 1: Which of your co-workers is most consistently obnoxious about suggesting that he or she is too cool for Spokane?

Warm-up question No. 2: Do the people in Coeur d’Alene who hate tourists enjoy being despised when they themselves travel on vacation?

Today’s Slice question: Who owns the area’s ugliest boat?

MEMO: The Slice appears Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098.

The Slice appears Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098.


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