Man Grilled About Operation Brain Fry

One of my occasionally reliable sources, C. Moore Blur, called the other day after his weekend drill and beer bust with the High Plains Drifters citizen-patriot-good-ol’boy militia, which had held maneuvers in the Canadian River breaks in the Texas Panhandle.

Blur’s hushed, conspiratorial voice led me to believe that he was nervous and in need of sharing deep secrets.

“Is this a clear line?” he asked anxiously with a rasp. I assured him that I thought it was, although the huge cost increases for newsprint have cut into our budget for weekly wiretap sweeps.

After a long pause, Blur said, “Oklahoma City ain’t what it appears. Got it straight from Maj. Drool.”

I waited for further explanation, but all I heard at the other end of the line was raspy breathing.

“Who is Maj. Drool, and what isn’t as it appears?” I asked.

“Drool’s my Drifters commandant, out of Muleshoe. Tough hombre - and plenty savvy. Got a Purple Heart in the ‘Nam. Did a tour in Idaho. He knows stuff.”

“He knows stuff about what?” I asked, growing a little impatient.

“Operation Brain Fry.”

“Is Willie Nelson involved in this?” I asked. “Or Gary Busey?”

“This is serious,” Blur said with a tone of agitation. “The feds set up Oklahoma City, detonated two bombs and have deployed a nationwide mind-control program run out of the National Security Agency to take over the country in a coup d’etat.”

“Whose minds are going to be controlled?” I asked.

“That’s the wrong question,” Blur said. “The question is: Whose minds have been tampered with already? Drool told us the NSA has sent out teams of assassins all across the country to blow up federal buildings and other stuff. Only thing is: The team members got treatments before they were sent out.”

“What kind of treatments?” I asked.

“Some were hypnotized,” Blur said. “Some got electrotherapy; some were given secret drugs, and others were programmed with voice-over earphones while they were in a trance or asleep.

“Drool said there were lots of methods used to make these guys’ memories go blank about their operations as soon as their missions had been accomplished. That way, if they got caught, the FBI could even torture them and they wouldn’t be able to tell what had happened because it had been erased from that part of their brain.”

“So,” I said, “you’re telling me that some people high in the government are using highly sophisticated technological means of disrupting American society and creating so much fear and confusion that the conspirators can step in and take over. Is that right?”

“Right!” Blur said. “And the scariest part of it all is that the FBI and ATF (Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms) are patsies in the whole deal. They may even be hypnotized themselves.

“Drool said he’s got secret intelligence dispatches out of Idaho and Michigan showing that all the government buildings in Washington have been bombarded with mind-altering electromagnetic waves beamed from the Pentagon across the Potomac River.”

Blur was getting more excited by the minute, so I paused to let him settle down before asking him any more questions.

“You know, Blur,” I finally said, “this is all quite mysterious, and I’m having a little trouble believing that something like this could be going on.”

“You’ve been watching CNN and the network news, haven’t you?” he said. “Drool has it on good authority - super top secret, right out of Idaho - that crypto-technicians with the National Security Agency have implanted devices in the TV satellite transmission systems that create certain pulses that send subliminal messages into the minds of people watching those programs.

“People are being programmed to ignore the warnings that patriots like me and the High Plains Drifters are giving to make folks wake up and get in a state of readiness. They’re brainwashing the whole country!”

I thanked Blur for sharing such sensitive information with me and told him I would pursue it with all the urgency it deserves.

He extended another of his many invitations to join the High Plains Drifters on one of its night reconnaissance missions - this one to check out suspicious activities at the federal helium plant near Amarillo, Texas - but I declined under the press of other duties.

“Well,” Blur said crisply, “gotta sign off before they figure out a way to beam those pulses in the phone lines and zap both our minds. More later. Over and far-out, man.”