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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Triple Threat

Phillies reliever Norm Charlton isn’t pitching real well - he lost the closer’s job to Heathcliff Slocumb - but he has plenty to fall back on. He graduated from Rice University in 1986 with a unique triple major in political science, religion and physical education.

“If I can’t talk you out of it and I can’t preach you out of it, I’ll beat you out of it,” Charlton reasoned.

Misunderstood in two cultures

Remember how baseball people here viewed Kevin Mitchell as a dog who’d ask out of the lineup if he had a hangnail? Well, baseball people in Japan concur.

The Fukuoka Daiei Hawks have removed Mitchell from their registered list and may release him. Mitchell originally hurt his right knee in April and has been sidelined for more than a week, but Japanese doctors don’t regard it as serious.

Of course, there could be more to it. Mitchell signed for $4.5 million guaranteed and is hitting .247 with six home runs in 28 games. Last month, Mitchell called his former teammates in the Giants clubhouse.

“He says if there is another earthquake, he’s swimming home,” Dusty Baker said. “He’s lost 18 pounds, too.”

How? He explained that to Matt Williams.

“He told me they fed him an octopus - and it still had the legs connected,” Williams said. “Kevin misses hamburgers.”

Any other complaints, Kev? “These guys smoke cigarettes like it’s their last cigarette on earth, like they’re going to the electric chair,” Mitchell reported. “I said, ‘Man, do you all ever stop smoking?’ They can’t wait until the game is over, so they can go smoke.”

And on the seventh day, God created par-3s

When in doubt, sue. John Boyle did, but a Boise judge has ruled the former golf pro can’t force the Jerome Country Club to change its tournament schedule.

Boyle said his Mormon beliefs forbid him from playing golf on Sundays, when the final round of most tournaments are played. He claimed the club discriminated against him because of his religion and asked for a court order allowing him to play on Fridays and Saturdays, or to play 36 holes the same day.

U.S. Magistrate Judge Larry Boyle - no relation - declined, calling the golfer’s situation “self-imposed.” At least six LDS couples are members of the club and play in Sunday tournaments.

If golf really is the religion golfers say it is, he should have sued the church to change the Sabbath.

Focus, thy name is Raul

The repercussions of Nick Van Exel’s 3-pointer that gave the Lakers an overtime win over San Antonio in Game 5 of their NBA playoff series were felt far beyond the walls of the Alamodome.

At Dodger Stadium, fans listening to the basketball game on the radio erupted. Raul Mondesi was batting in the eighth inning and was so startled by the noise he took a called third strike.

“I knew something was happening, but I didn’t know what,” Mondesi said. “What was it, the Lakers’ game? Oh, no wonder. Hey, who won?”

The last word …

“I’m drinking tonight. I need a drink tonight.” - Noted role model Charles Barkley, after the Suns lost to the Houston Rockets in Game 7 of their playoff series