Cheap Seats

Chicago sports fans, superstitious?

With Michael Jordan back in the lineup, don’t look for the Chicago Bulls to be in the lottery any time soon. Their fans are another story.

Hundreds of Illinois lotto players put their faith in Jordan when the Bulls opened their season last Friday, and they cashed in big. The winning numbers in state’s Pick Four game were 2345, a combination of the numbers Jordan has worn on his jersey - 23 and 45.

“A lot of people were playing MJ’s numbers, and we paid out the third-highest amount ever for the Pick Four game,” a lottery spokesman said.

Professor Barkley

Charles Barkley wouldn’t even lower himself to discuss the Los Angeles Clippers. “I don’t worry too much about them,” the Phoenix philosopher said. “They’re just a team on the schedule to us.”

This was surprising, considering the Clips had just worked Barkley’s Suns in an exhibition game. “I don’t think much about preseason. It’s just a way for owners to scam money,” Barkley explained.

A couple days later, the Clippers surprised the Suns in the regular-season opener. The game was delayed 20 minutes for a laser show, prompting Barkley to say, “I don’t know what they have to celebrate.”

Barkley was an equal-opportunity condescender when asked what he thought of the trade that sent Alonzo Mourning to Miami. “I don’t think it will make anyone a contender,” Barkley scoffed. “I’m not concerned about second-rate teams trying to make trades.”

While ripping his less fortunate peers, Barkley was kissing up to NBA referees, of all people. In a tribute to the refs, who are being locked out by owners, Barkley taped a pie chart of NBA revenues above his locker, which showed 0.5 percent goes to referees.

That’s not counting all those mandatory donations Sir Charles has made for abusing those refs during games.

Thumb and thumber

Jason Whitlock smelled a rat. According to the Kansas City Star writer, “an injured thumb isn’t what wrecked Mike Tyson’s second post-prison fight. A lack of public interest did… . There were whispers that fewer than 2,000 tickets had been sold for Tyson-Johnny Mathis Jr., oops, I mean Tyson-Buster Brown Jr.

“Broken thumbs can be wrapped. Broken thumbs can be injected with Novocaine. Broken thumbs don’t stop fighters from collecting millions of dollars. Tyson could have knocked out Mathis with just one hand. For the right price - anything more than $10,000 - I’d mix it up with the former soul singer, Mathis Jr.”

Airplane III

This was hardly what Bob Hill had in mind when the San Antonio Spurs coach stressed the importance of getting untracked early.

Two Spurs - Chuck Person and Dell Demps - were injured Friday when their seats became untracked as the team plane was taking off from San Antonio. Person sustained a herniated disk and Demps suffered minor injuries, forcing the plane to turn around so the players could seek treatment.

Art of the deal

When the Cleveland Browns become the Baltimore Browns next year, Bill Belichick will remain coach.

Explained Browns owner Art Modell: “I will say right now, I’m certain that Bill Belichick will coach this team next year. I’m a great believer in continuity.”

Continuity, my moving van.

The last word …

“Any average fan investing emotional loyalty in a sports team today is a foolish romantic. Love the team all you want, but it’s never going to love you back.”

- Boston Globe columnist Bob Ryan

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo